Ridiculously Behind

Have you ever noticed how time seems to go faster when it's the last thing you want/need it to do? For example, you have 12 years worth of work to do, and 15 minutes in which to do it. You sneeze, and then you're late, running behind and doing everything on the fly. I feel like that lately. My weblog is sadly suffering for the time being because of this fact.

They say if you're early to bed, early to rise, it'll make you healthy, wealthy, and wise. Late to sleep, late to wake, makes a man hard to break I think. Harder circumstances has tried to bring me down, and the fact of the matter is I just won't freaking let it. I have too much work to do.

I'm not to proud to turn down help on anything when it's offered. Not anymore. I have very little experience soliciting help though. That stated, well, I'll just follow my usual form and blurt it out.

Following is a small list of projects which with I could use some assistance:

• Zombie Walk, scheduled for October 23rd.
• Reclamation of my living area, sooner than later.
• Destruction of my alcohol collection, as soon as possible.
• Undisclosed dream car project, before oil runs out.
• Instrument practice, whenever possible.
• Video gameage, whenever possible.
• Work tomorrow, Too soon.

Yeah, I may be biting off more than I can chew.

-The0

Coincidence by Design?

I was driving back from a tap-house with a friend when a certain part of DJ Tiësto's live show at Dance Department in 2001 started playing over the vehicle's stereo system. It's hard to find a recording of this, and it's a trance track, so it's all one massive song. Still, I turned up the volume starting at 45:46, and showed my friend the melody that played.

Directly after that, I pulled out the CD and inserted Mutter, Rammstein's 3rd album. I advanced it to Ich Will, and had him listen to the bridge verse. Sure enough, a very similar melody played off of Flake's keyboard. We're talking 95% the same. Mutter was released before DJ Tiësto's live show by about 6 months. Did DJ Tiësto copy Rammstein, or was it simply a coincidence?

The idea I'm actually trying to bring up here is the point which came up seconds later in that very car ride. With the amount of musical groups out there, the finiteness of the musical spectrum, and the amount of popular material out there, it is nearly impossible to create original musical material. Everything will sound similar to something, be it Ich Will, Beethoven's 9th, Dethklok, or Vivaldi's Seasons. The very tune you may have idly whistled this morning could be strongly copyrighted by a very malevolent musical group. This can lead into a popular topic of what constitutes original content any longer, and does RIAA's authority apply. If so, where? Anyone who knows anything about this, please feel free to post in the comments.

My favorite bit of unoriginal content in Rammstein would be in their song Moskau. Those who have played Half-Life and Half-Life2 will remember the Gauss gun, a gun which would wind up with a very distinct sound. This sound can be heard throughout the song, but most noticeably at 3:10, end of the bridge. In my eyes, this shows that Rammstein, if they don't like us Americans, they at least like our video games.

Winding up for a busy day by listening to good music,

-The0

Saddle Up.

It has been a very nice break for me. I logged just over 90 hours into all my Steam games, and ate pretty well whatever I wanted. I stayed up late, I slept in. I saved the universe, only to doom it to total fascism. I melted about a hundred faces off with a face-melting solo, and I got my foot mostly all better. I hang out for extended periods with my favorite people, and had a few drinks almost every day. A great way to start the new year.

I made ZERO dollars during this little vacation.

Despite this I still went out. Dr. Girlfriend treated me to Eddie Izzard. A good show, and I still always laugh at his skits. Many friends were at that show, and we ended up at a nearby cordials bar. A cute place. This is all in faded memory.

After such a long pause I am surprised I have this much to say. More disasters are in the works, but suffice it to say, I just don't care to write right now. Suck it up.

It's not gold, but it's a start. There are some events that deserve their own separate posts. Important ones. Revealing ones. Ones that would probably be better off not written out, but that's not my style.

-The0

Left 4 Dead 2: Electric Boogaloo

So, I have put in a good number of hours into the new Left 4 Dead, and I have a serious conclusion regarding its performance.

This game kicks ASS!!!

Now don't get me wrong, it can be damn annoying to try and get and get onto a car ferry and dying 3 times after a minute, and it can be much more difficult to simply reach the end zone, but VALVe has done a magnificent job of mixing things up and keeping a good idea fresh. With the new infected, you have to stay on your toes, and monitor your teammates a lot more. The level design is fantastic as well, and you never feel like you're simply running around in a system of arbitrary tubes.

My least favorite of the new infected is the Spitter. Here I am, I've just healed up, and we're progressing nicely, when all of a sudden I'm swimming in this green goo, and I'm losing health like I just fucked a lawnmower. It's almost as bad as startling a Witch, and it's especially bad when you're trying to get out of the goo and you're surrounded by zombies. I guess they're finally getting back at me for all those molotovs.

Of the levels, my new favorite is Hard Rain. For this level, you're running to get more fuel for an escape from your previous campaign. All these linear based maps actually link up, and it's very impressive how they segue into each other. Hard Rain isn't linear though. It's circular and dynamic! You have to run to the end, grab the fuel, and run back, only this time, the whole place is flooded from the rain. During the 4th chapter, the weather changes a lot, going from heavy rain to torrential flood. This summons the horde, and makes it impossible to hear your teammates. Awesome.

The characters are easily attached to as well. Of course, everyone went clamoring for the George Clooney-esque Nick character, and following my tradition, I tried to stick with a female character, Rochelle (I have my reasons.) Coach reminds me of Hank Hill in a weird way. My current favorite is Ellis. His ability to yammer on in a situation of extreme duress is a metaphor of how I think I interact with new people.

I usually get frustrated at new games, but this one is growing on me nicely. The replay value is astounding, and there are all these new game modes that I have yet to try. A great step forward for VALVe. That stated:

LET'S SEE SOME DAMN HALF-LIFE ALREADY!!! (please.)

-The0

It's not the Zombies that kill you...

So, like the rest of the Steam-nation, I am right now sitting here, waiting for Left 4 Dead 2 to release. I preloaded everything, it just needs to be told to "Go." A bit like me, actually. A little disappointing, but not unexpected. I'm certain it will be out before the sun comes up again.

And verily it is! A decryption ensues this sentence. Not to do a stream-of-consciousness post, but this is going to be exciting. I was going to shoot for a "Well isn't that the way it goes?" post, but now it looks like a pre-game excitement post in in order.

L4D2 is looking to be huge. New Special Infected, 5 campaigns out of the box, and new gameplay modes. This is going to be a nice long couple of days off. A review in my hackneyed style is going to be in the works, be assured.

And now, I have been made aware of a Woot-Off!!! I'm not sure if that should be capitalized or not, but it's a significant enough occurrence to break my train of thought. Maybe this time around, I'll be able to snag a couple of items, and stock some holiday gifts for friends.

The waiting is over. Now let's see if the zombies can kill me.

-The0

Impulse 101: Lessons in Self-Control

A thought occurred while I was supposed to be working tonight, one about which I've actually already thought. Access to cheat codes for games is far too easy. You look them up in the strategy guide, you find them on GameFAQs, and all of a sudden the game becomes a pointless delve into violence, a timesink. The difficulty, the fear, the thinking, it all vanishes. You know what it is to be like Dr. Manhattan.

Now granted, I spent the first half of my gaming life doing precisely that. When I got Quake installed on my first PC, I played for about 5 minutes before I decided to cheat and hack it. I was God in a brightly lit dungeon, with ammo being the farthest concern from my mind. In retrospect, this revolutionary game was slighted by my laziness and bloodlust. Game programmers put a LOT of work into making games challenging, and that challenge is what makes the game fun, not necessarily the slaughter. To just mindlessly kill things via cheats is to voluntarily vote against thinking, as far as I am concerned.

However, it somewhat begs the question, why even include the cheats in the first place? It's beyond me, but it's still very fun to play with them. To run amuck and just turn enemies into red paste is a grand stress reliever, and slightly less sociopathic than shooting real people. It's an escape to an alternate world anyway, why should I have to be bound by its rules too?

My final thought is, at what point should you consider using cheats? At what point is it fair to you and the game designers to start playing around? Where have you explored all that needs to be explored, and had time to enjoy and embrace all the subtleties of their work, their sold gift? I think it's either after you've played through the entire story on hard mode, or at least twice on regular. Then, feel free to hack, cheat, and rob the AI of their opportunity to make you feel weak and outsmart you.

4 days until L4D2, everyone! Happy gaming!

-The0

Cupcake Games #1

After an insane writing hiatus, I return, with insight into several lovely little games.

Darwinia: Adorable real time strategy. Lead little AIs to recapture their (virtual) homeland from the virus which they discovered when they became too curious. On that note, our own malicious software may be our salvation when computers and robots attempt to take over the world. A good strategy that works with almost every level is: Build a massive army, and overrun the enemy. They meow with delight, and you have fun. Joy.

Audiosurf: Make a racetrack of that song during which you always get pulled over. Collect blocks for points! Get a global high score! Get angry when your friends beat that high score! Seriously though, this game is great. I have a good amount of driving music, and now I'm experiencing favorites in a whole new way. It's a good game when you've logged 25 hours into it after only having it for 11 days. You can get in a quick song before work, or unwind with slow songs afterwards. Seal of Approval.

Gish: Life as a 12 lb. ball of tar. Save your kidnapped owner. Use the sludgy properties of tar to navigate the levels. Sadly, enemies seem invincible, which is one step away from the unforgivable sin of infinitely spawning enemies. Still, it's kind of cute, and the Flash-y physics make it fun to watch.

World of Goo: Impermanence in a permanent world. It seems the idea of this is to build (semi-) rigid structures with little stretchy, ductile goo balls. Reach a point, and your score is how many goo balls you have left over. I haven't done too much of this game, but it seems fun.

Braid: Time-travel Mario. Fuck this Game! I have been pulling my hair out trying to figure out this stupid puzzle nonsense, and I'm not even halfway through the game. While this is normally very indicative of a "good" game, I do NOT like being made to feel stupid. And while I'm on the tear, I might as well commit blasphemy. I hate Mario Bros. It was annoying, nothing but frustrating, hand cramping repetition. Braid is more of the same, only now I can rewind and watch it fail all over again. On a positive note, the story is very nice.

End Review Mini-Series #1. Cupcake Games: When you simply don't have the appetite for a whole freaking tiramisu.

-The0

WIP-Lash

I have been meaning to make a new post for a good few days now, but I always am so damn busy and tired lately. After a small musings post, I plan to do another arts review post. After sleep and work, of course.

* * *

And we're back! I broke down and bought the most recent Steam weekend deal. A bunch of games are cheaply available, 10 indie games in total. I had just a bit of cash laying about in various depots, so I deposited that and bought it. I am absolutely glad I did. 2 minutes into Audiosurf, I was giggling with what fun it was. Have you ever driven quickly on the highway to a song you really love? In Audiosurf, you get points for it. I'm very happy with this purchase. More mini-reviews to come, be assured.

I feel like have been working my fucking ass off at my job. Don't you just hate fate when you have a day off, and then, because of the laziness, negligence, or otherwise unfortunate actions of a coworker, you end up getting called into work what he or she would normally work? C'est la vie, of course, but hot damn, is it frustrating. It's fine though, I worked my entire last shift on straight overtime. Yay, bills.

I think it actually is effective to use the little gadgets which Vista makes available to track my account balance. I have a "post-it" with a running transaction log, and my current (underestimated) balance. This ought to help with those overdraft fees, I suspect.

The thought occured that there is great injustice with the coincidence that many leaders are simply filthing assholes. I know a couple of managers and upper managers that artlessly make it a point to get angry or just yell and shout to get what they want done, done. It's the same thing I was talking about before, really. Courtesy is out the window, and there is no hope for revision in the future, I fear. Oh well, humanity has earned its place among the fucked, I think.

Enough of this. Dr. Girlfriend and I recently watched Coraline, and I plan to review that tomorrow.

-The0

Half-Life 2, An exospective retrospect

As far as games are concerned in my eyes, Half-Life 2 redefined the way we play. Hell, games are designed differently simply because of the innovations set forth in Half-Life, and Half-Life 2 did more to "raise the bar" than any game sequel to date. If I may rant...

Simply in terms of engine advancement, quality jumped. Renderings were as close to photo-realistic as we had seen to date, even with Doom 3 being on the shelves. The fact that you could pick items up and force them to interact physically with other items in the world provided hours of distracting (and then useful) entertainment. Throwing a can at the metrocops turned out to be as much fun as being submissive and throwing it away like they had demanded. This is so mesmerizing that you nearly forget to notice the world into which you have suddenly been forced.

When last we left our hero, he was sweltering through Black Mesa, NM and then some creepy world called Xen. Now, he's in war-worn Eastern Europe, presumably again "working" for the ever-mysterious G-Man. You fight through cordoned city streets, filthy barnacle-laden sewers, along septic routes and dams, and even a zombie infested old mining town. Additionally you get to drive to your location in some parts, which brings up an important clue if you're a good critical thinker. You're driving along the coast, checking out piers and docks that are a good ten to twenty feet above above the surface of the water. I didn't notice it at first, but then I thought about how the hell anyone is going to get in or out of a boat which is floating 20 feet below them? It begs some thought.

The fact that I didn't have to stop and think about it was actually a property of the new game play "feel." I guess that due to the fact that computing resources were less limited (or something, I realize how flawed that statement is), the developers were able to cram more stuff into maps. It wasn't an obligation to explore every little nook and/or cranny. Along Highway 17, you hardly had to stop for anything you couldn't drive around. This can make it an easier or tougher play for you is the thing, so it balances nicely.

Creature design had progressed significantly, but aside from variations to old favorites, the most significant enemy you battle is your own kind. Humans who have turned to "combine" with the Combine, who have apparently been working in the shadows since Half-Life. Xen, your final highland in Half-Life, turned out to merely be a teleportation transfer point for a much bigger problem. Your role in fighting baddies scrolls from random remotely controlled monsters to your own remotely controlled species. It's not as shocking as it should be, but damn if when walking into City 17, I didn't feel a sense of 1984.

Characters actually come to support the meaning of the word in Half-Life 2. Your "spunky" sidekick Alyx is not only a helpful story vehicle, she's genuinely speaking. She peers, looks, smile, raises her eyebrows, and furrows her brow. Arguments between NPCs, while a little corny, were mind-blowing at the time. With a couple of welcome familiar faces, and some unwelcome but powerful allies, you learn very quickly not to try and horribly mutilate everything you come across.

If Half-Life is the greatest game of all time, Half-Life 2 is the greatest sequel of all time. I look heavily forward to a ground shattering Half-Life 3, if VALVe can get it out before they all decide to retire.

-The0

It turns out Nostalgia is Vista-compatible

In my research for the previous post, I came across the Wikipedia article for Sierra Entertainment. As some of us may remember, the original publisher of Half-Life was Sierra, after VALVe was passed up by everyone else, being told their game was "too ambitious." A good move on Sierra's part, but it is a little sad for them as well. VALVe has utterly outgrown them since their humble beginnings.

I had been a big fan of Sierra even before then, however. The games I played before Quake and Ultima were all Sierra games, the old style ones. I'm referring to their "_____ Quest" games. I used to be able to tell you precisely how to get through Space Quest IV. I knew that no matter what code you entered in the time machine, you would go nowhere at first. As an attempt to get back even further into my childhood and gaming habits, I found an abandoned version of my favorite Quest, King's Quest VI: Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow.

The adventures of Prince Alexander of Daventry came back to me with much difficulty, to my surprise. It may have been that I was still reeling from the nostalgia (goodness, it was wonderful to to explore those screens like I had before), but I don't think so. What is takes to beat an old Sierra Quest game was patience, logic, creativity, and an entirely different way of thinking. The game can be beaten in 5 hours, but the first time I played it, 16 years ago, it took me almost 3 months. I kept trying every combination of events until something new happened. I tried and tried, and with some help for the Sierra Hint line (that's how popular their games were. They had their own hot line with hints for EVERY game), I finally had it beaten, and I was so proud that I knew exactly how to put the pieces together. Now, I need a guide in order to even get off the first island. Oh well.

I guess the main thought behind this veneer of words is that it's easy for me to relive key parts of my childhood. I remember the weather of the first summer that Prince Alexander got shoved in the catacombs. I remember late nights with no progress. It was great for me to get back and feel all this again. Thanks for joining me.

-The0

Better Half-Life than no life at all.

In my opinion, many things can retain their grandeur despite their age. Everyone still loves the Mona Lisa, The Godfather is still revered as the best movie ever, and as far as this list is concerned, the Half-Life series raises the bar on all video games. This is a small dissertation on why.

Let’s start with Half-Life (the first one, released in 1998). Half-Life was based on the GoldSrc engine, a heavily modified version of the Quake engine. The graphics were stunning to me, and it utterly taxed my little 233 MHz laptop. I remember the first time I played it. I was a sophomore in high school, and I had just started the storyline of the game in hopes that I might improve my LAN battle strategy, which at the time was pretty much, "run straight forward with guns blazing at everything which moves." This was the first lesson I garnered from Half-Life. NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE SHOT! No sooner had Barney started speaking than I had finished blowing a hole in his skull. It was some comment about the zombies, of which he had just taken care for my ungrateful ass.

Another game-changing moment was when I had to figure out my first “puzzle.” For once I wasn’t just running through corridors shooting everything which moved. This was my second lesson from Half-Life. It’s not all going to be about getting bigger guns for bigger baddies anymore. This time I had to figure out where I was going to go and what I was going to do in order to NOT die. It was like being in Mario brothers all over again. Only this time I got to use quicksaves and quickloads. At any rate, we go onto the best thing of all. The Storytelling.

Storytelling in Half-life was unlike anything I had ever experienced in my limited catalogue of gaming. I had played a couple of the Ultima games, and even played through all of Quake, but to have the story directly delivered to me in play, and not through some text screen or in a hidden manuscript was world-changing for me. In fact, a lot of the tale was lost to me. In order to actually get any of the yarn, you have to infer a lot from your surroundings and environment. This “resonance cascade” had supposedly just happened 48 hours ago, how could they possibly have built specimen examination rooms for the monsters in such short time? Unless? The point I’m making is, I was still just shooting everything. I was murdering, not thinking. As soon as I learned my third lesson, to stop and look around, everything started making more sense. After all, VALVe had made it a point to build (mostly) realistic worlds, who was I to ignore it?

Characters are a bit lackluster at times, but at other times, they are inescapably enigmatic. The G-Man is the only real character with whom you make any lasting contact. His involvement with everything is curious, but never forgotten. One might think he’s calling the shots in everything, others may say he is simply observing. Barney (the security guard) is met time and again, and even killed multiple times. I think Black Mesa may have been a cloning facility in addition to a hypothetical physics think tank. At any rate, the main character, Dr. Gordon Freeman, never speaks but is always central. I like that. You control him, and you can choose to save others or save your own ass. You can progress through the game as fast as you want, making a mad dash to whichever way “Out” is, or you can really explore the map, and find some extra goodies. Dr. Freeman can be a free-running murderer, or a thinking fighter. It is this ambiguity that allows him to have such a strong following. Master Chief is the gaming world’s Chuck Norris, steering a bomb through space on pure baddass alone, as in Halo 2. Dr. Freeman is just a scientist who apparently reads Guns and Ammo magazine and was the right man in the wrong place. That makes all the diffffference, in the world.

Whereas this has gotten to be a very long post, be it resolved that we’ll go ahead and close up here. I'll carry on this babble into HL2 sometime soon, before the end of the month. Which means you’ll probably be reading it in August, 2010.

Oh, in case you need to be warned, this post has spoilers. Figured I'd at least mention it somewhere.

-The0

O Freeman, Where Art Thou?

I've had a little idea running through my head, and though I haven't really done the proper research, I think that it is very safe to say the Half-Life 2 occurs somewhere in Serbia. After a bit of looking, I found this picture of the Serbian Federal Parliament building.

Of course, I ran through the game really quickly and found a good shot of the Overwatch Nexus building.

Taking this in mind, I really want to know a couple of the other locations. City 17 is apparently Belgrade, Serbia. But where was Gordon Freeman dropped off? Where is zombie infested Ravenholm? Whose house got smashed under the Citadel? Where the hell is Half-Life 3!?

Valve has a very good practice of building real environments, and it shows even in their earlier works. Half-Life took place in a research lab hidden in Black Mesa, NM (Clever little wink: It's about 120 miles from Los Alamos, birthplace of the atom bomb.) I have actually been through Black Mesa a couple of times, on hiking expeditions with the Boy Scouts. On the very scenic route, I kept remembering and comparing the environment, color, and appearance of all the stone cliffs and reddish-brown mountains from the game to the actual environment around me. I found that it was really well captured, even for 1998 graphics and game engines.

I wonder if it's bad that my fonder memories of nature come from a video game.

-The0