Self-Referential Philosophy a Must

The thought occured a couple days ago that I am not a very good blogger. I'm usually just trying to find something over which to be angry, and trying to flaunt semi-proper grammar. I'm certainly no Cory Doctorow, and the crusade I'm on isn't a popular one. It's actually very offensive, and it's also hard to garner support for a crusade against socially accepted ignorance. Someone must carry the mantle though, and I choose to be that one! Take a stand with me! Sit down and read a damn book!

Back to my weblog though. I get a feeling that this is just my little jewel, if you will. A little thing I picked up because all the other (pseudo-) intellectuals were doing it. I maybe wanted to feel popular. I choose to draw from Saint Thomas More's Utopia. "Similarly, they pick up pearls when they find them by the seashore, and diamonds and garnets that are sticking out of fallen rocks. They never go looking for them though, but only collect them when they come across them by chance. They polish them up and give them to their children to wear. Little children take immense pleasure and pride in such baubles, but when they grow a little older they realize that only kids care about such trifles. Their parents don't have to say a thing. They become ashamed to wear jewelry of their own accord, just as our own children give up jacks, marbles, and dolls when they grow up." Is this collection of ramblings simply a little jewel which I show off to people, so they can see my pride in it? I suppose that if not, my writing and thinking processes will become more refined, and a higher quality post will be delivered unto you. If it is, however, I suppose I'll eventually just grow up, and lose my marbles.

Things are harrowing at this point. The bills are getting more plentiful, and at a rate directly inproportional to the funds. In a bad way. I think I just need to hunker down and do more work. If you keep working, something's bound to turn up, to paraphrase Harvey Pekar. On that note, I do have my résumé floating out there, and I am working on a plan. It involves moving to a cheaper place, and other fiscally responsible moves. More on that as said plan progresses.

As far as something turning up, I have an update. The lovely lady from the land of eHarmony and I have been communicating very regularly. We're in something of a pissing contest to see who can write the longer email, and we have a LOT of things in common. She's a very near match to the dream girl. Her last email to me was 9 pages long. I am, however, starting on that attachment/fear roller coaster. I'm starting to really like this girl, and I'm beginning to hope. That was the last thing that came out of Pandora's box, for the record. Knowing my luck, she'll find another guy before everything is over, or something else will keep everything nice and in it's status quo. That's not the attitude to have going into a possibly great situation, but hey, realism is a option too. Besides, I'm not even close to up to par to chase a girlfriend right now. Not according to my manifesto. But hey, we'll work and pray, and see where it all goes. It sure would be nice to get back in the saddle. 

I have to to sleep, I open tomorrow. Thanks for reading. Questions? Comments? Philosophical inquiries? You know where to put them.

-The0

The links, I must try them!

Between Nadya Suleman, Alfie Patten, Several choice individuals whom I choose to not name, and the church's view on population control, Humanity is wholly and dearly Fucked.

-The0

'Bout that time, eh chaps?

Well, here we are. Another Valentine's Day (or if you're one for clichéd humor, Singles Awareness Day.) This is just a temporary post, intended to fill the gap between work and midnight. A Valentine's Day post will technically occur after Valentine's Day. It'll be good. Patience, young Skywalker.

* * *

And we're back! Today is the one day of the year where single people are generally expected to be a little surly of their relational status. I have decided to have a slightly more positive outlook on things however, and stick to the man. Method of choice: sticking it to the women (Ha!)

Today I got up early and went straight to my computer. I didn't go through the thoughtful and loving process of cooking someone breakfast in bed. Instead, after noting that my case temperature was a little high for my tastes, I went ahead and gave my computer case a couple new fans and upgrades. No flowers and tasteful, considerate cards, just upgrades for my ultimate enjoyment.

I then went to go wash my truck. Ashley is my current valentine. She's been there for me when I've needed her, and has broken down but twice over the 40,000 miles I've had her. So I decided I'd do something nice for her. I cleaned out her crevices and trunk, and washed her, finishing with a wax job. This was time I could have been spending shopping for the perfect gift, or massaging, or waiting on some one's beck and call. Filling a void with stimulating and thoughtful, flirtatious conversation. I could have used all this time to make someone special feel perfectly beautiful, so I did. I polished up the one thing that's been here for me (unlike you, missy.)

Now, I'm not disillusioned. I'm well aware that my SUV is an inanimate object and doesn't have feelings. But the thing is that I spent the time and effort I could have used to make you feel pretty, making myself and my baddass toys even more baddass. Ha.

I then went to work. I spent time earning money to spend on me. No pretty dresses or fancy meals, just stuff that I want. I made myself a more positive force in society, instead of building a pedestal on which to place the object of my affection (which I did do with my truck and computer.) I just want to let you have a hint. I am fantastic as a boyfriend. I have never forgotten a birthday, or a special date, and I certainly know how to make a shining Valentine's Day. Thank you, ladies. I didn't have to go through the hassle this year. I got to work on what makes The0, The0. Today was my day, not yours. My gain, your loss. :Þ

And on that note, a curious thing happened today. eHarmony seems to have directed a charming young lady my way. We'll have to see how that turns out. Also, most of the females at my place of employment are single this year as well. A most curious occurrence, because I thought it was only me and my partners in crime. Not saying that a relationship is the ultimate accessory or validation in life, but it sure does help with the grind. Also, my "If they're hot, they're taken" rule was definitely brought into question. Curious.

Also, last night I watched American Splendor. It's about the life and times of a miserable man named Harvey Pekar, after he worked out getting a comic series made out of his life. I tell you, nothing makes you feel better about yourself quite the way like watching someone else's life suck does.

I'm simply rambling at this point. It's been a long day, and I had much bigger plans for this post. It seems to have petered out. Oh well. Have a nice evening.

That's what she said.

Side Note: I have made an addition to the previous post. Feel free to check it out if you have the will.

-The0

All Filler, no Killer

It's actually been a good couple of days. I am working near full time, making barely enough money to pay bills, and the band is doing well. I have been given a couple of days off in a row, and I tell you, I haven't been in this good of a mood/gotten this much sleep in well over a year. I am smiling. Hopefully this isn't my mind cracking (it may even be only a temporary thing) but I still need to make a post about something. So what to talk about? Why not music?

The following is a list of songs that I feel would be good "break-up songs." Not that I have had the recent experience of a break-up (there are prerequisites involved for that,) but with Valentine's Day approaching, and some of my readership being single, I figured that this might be of some interest. Linkin Park will not be seen on this list. Everybody already knows "In the End" by fucking heart.

"Vermilion" by Slipknot

This one is pretty clear. If just broken up, all some really want to do is just yell their brains out. This song helps you acknowledge the fact that the one you just had wasn't "the one," and regarding your "one," you may finally be able to tell yourself "She isn't real" and there's nothing you can fucking do about it. Life ain't Disney. Yell about it.

"The Game" by Disturbed

Don't worry, this list won't be all metal. Just most of it. Anyway, the refrain in here is for the man who was dumped or cheated, not the dumper or cheater. "Is she not right? Is she insane? Will she now run for life in the battle that ends this day?" I guess this applies in that all relationships can be seen as a battle which we all will lose until we meet our perfect partner, or at the very least, the person we find ourselves best tolerating. To translate and quote Rammstein, "Sex is a battle, Love is war." Which reminds me...

"Wo Bist Du" by Rammstein

"Where are you" is a song for that poor love-torn soul who just can't find that partner that seems destined for him or her. The assumed protagonist in the song winds up killing himself in a graveyard, and calls it sleep. The minor key of this song, the mournful vocals, and the mere opening lines make this a good song for the sad. Or suicidal. Hell, it's Rammstein, it's automatically a good song. You know what else is a good song?

"Amour" by Rammstein

This is a fantastic song, off of their 4th album, Reise, Reise. It applies with the lyrics of how love is a wild, ravenous beast which cannot be controlled. It preys upon you, filling you with burning desire and crazy longing. And the end of the song, "Love is a wild beast, and you fall into it's trap. It stares into your eyes, binding you in it's spell. Please please, give me poison." Awesome. Tell a guy that's just lost someone that's not what's it like. I'll bet it is, anyway...

"Take It All Away" by Cake

I'd post the lyrics, but that's too long and and it all applies. I will copy and paste the post bridge verse though. "Go, Go ahead and destroy this. Better come with an army. Are you feeling, feeling okay, baby?" It can apply to both sides of a breakup, plus it's got a very sad melody yet again.

"Pure" by Orgy

A lot of Orgy songs can apply to the recently single, but this one seems like it applies best to the very-long-term-recently-cut-short breakup. "You got the best of me when you said you didn't love me anymore." Priceless. I'm also a huge fan of the song "Inside My Head" but I think that more for the guy that's still embracing the memory, not the breakup.

"Right Where It Belongs" by Nine Inch Nails.

I was recently given this song, and I love the hell out of it. If you're looking for distortion, it's there at the end, If you're looking to just sing, this is for you. If you're looking to tell yourself "Maybe it wasn't all it was cracked up to be" just listen and try to enjoy it, sad-face.

"Just So You Know" by American Head Charge.

This is another one of my favorites, but I don't think anyone actually remembers this band. "I wish your body was not so warm to me" shows us that the protagonist misses the hell out of her. "And all it was was something beautiful, when tides and dreams don't seem so tall, at all." Dude, how much more passion could you cram into a final sentence to your ex? That's how I choose to interpret that line. But my best point from this song is where he begins to shout. "You won't save me. I can't save you." The context in which I choose to apply this is something about which I actually feel anger (There it is!) There are people out there who choose to take it upon themselves to find that pitiful excuse for a human and decide that he or she is going to be granted the world and all it's goodness in an effort to "fix" the subject. An example could be that one episode of Family Guy where Brian tries doing magic in order to get a new girlfriend, only to find that she's picked out someone who is a loser (and also not a dog.) It doesn't work. People can't be loved back into shape; it takes hard effort and strong will on their own part. "You won't save me. I can't save you." You can only save yourself. I think it applies anyway.

There are more songs that work really well. Blind Guardian and Nightwish have pepperings of lyrics here and there that can be matched up as you see fit. There are numerous indy bands that have perfect songs for exact situations. It's up to the listener, really. My tastes aren't nearly broad enough to render an unbiased opinion. The comments section is open to all you readers who want to put in your two bits. But just in case you can't reconcile your emotions, and you need to end it all...

"Hotel California" by The Eagles

Get in your car after midnight. Find a not-so-crowded road. Turn on this song (loop it if you have to do so) after you've been going for a little while. It is my stark opinion that before long, you'll have thought enough about everything to want to drive yourself into the nearest telephone pole, wall, or truck.

Don't kill yourself. I don't need the liability.

This is probably to be continued. Have a nice day, everyone.

-The0

Edit: 02/15/2009

One song that I really wanted to mention in the lineup in the first place was this.

"Don't Tread on Me" by Metallica.

Now, this doesn't have so much to do with breaking up. It's just a kickass song to which you can feel angry at someone. It's a war march against your ex, and you can't help but solidify your feelings at the jerk or bitch by shouting "So be it! Settle the score! Touch me again for the words that you'll hear forevermore!" and then you splice in whatever you want to say, at the top or bowels of your lungs. I think it's cool.

This isn't to deny all my lovely commentors. Those are all great tunes for the subject matter. I'm stealing a couple as I type this. Awesome.

So Be It, Friend No More

I was going to do a piece about trying to find a happy medium between eugenics and dysgenics, but I have a new enemy. Fate.

I have been trying to get my shit all the more together so that I could stop leeching off my parents, and start paying my own fucking bills, and start dealing with my own problems. You know, actually turn myself into that "positive force to society." But it seems the more shit I can finally figure out and pay, the more gets loaded on my plate.

I was headed back to my delightfully overpriced apartment with my little brother and his girl/friend, when suddenly I see those begrudgingly patriotic red, white and blue lights. I had just gotten finished picking up my truck from the repair shop, which was no fucking picnic, a bunch of money for the next few months while I pay off my rebuilt transfer case. I had also just gotten over a bad bout of 24-hour flu. I get pulled over, for apparently going 54 in a 40. I had kept a solid eye on my speedometer the whole time i had been accelerating. I never saw the needle go past 40. I thought it was nonsense. Plus, since I was just finishing picking up my truck, of course I forget my fucking wallet which has both my license and insurance information.

I had a knife sitting in my glovebox, which I had opened to try and find my spare insurance information. Now I know that constitutes a search of my vehicle. So here I am freezing my ass off on the curb while some guy gropes me in my "I'm feeling sick" clothes (which look like "Let's get high" clothes), and then he searches my vehicle. I have learned tonight that not only is a switchblade illegal, but also that there was one in my truck (I haven't cleaned out the thing in 6 months). So, I will say happily that I dodged a bullet and wasn't arrested and put on a felony because of an illegal weapon that I wasn't aware of, but fuck man. Why is the shit hitting the fan now?

I got three tickets tonight, and I hereby officially no longer trust cops. Sure I was let off very easy, but I'm still fuming over the fact that I was pulled over in the first place. I'm annoyed that I couldn't get a chance to say my policy number or my license number. I never got a chance to explain my little circumstance. Shit, I can't even remember how many times he asked me if I do drugs. Motherfucker. I am offically going to regard every cop as someone looking to fuck me over. I'm keeping an eagle eye on my fucking speedometer, so that the next time I get pulled over, I will know exactly how fast I was going. I'm not scared straight you see, I'm taking every chance I can to prove you fucks incorrect. Fuck you, Police. 

-The0