I thought I was a public risk.

So I was barely awake for a shift that began at what I would call, "Obscenely Early." I was already minutes behind, but decided it would be far wiser to be a little late with some form of energy drink in hand than to show up on time wanting to murder everything I saw. I'm waiting at the traffic light, taking is what morning looks like, when the vehicle next to me starts charging forward by feet at a time. I see that the light is still red, and I'm wondering, "Where the hell this guy is trying to go?"

I take a better glance, and see that he has been rear-ended. More than that, he keeps getting hit and pushed a bit forward. This is a terrible way to start your day, especially for the person behind. You are invariably at fault, you've got damage to your car, and on top of that, the sun is shining and birds are chirping gaily like that's their freaking job. I look back even farther, rubbernecking to catch a view of the poor rear driver's face. I see her, she's not reaching for her insurance or her phone. No, she's busy having a seizure. The man in front reacts, calls 911, and tries to shut her car down. I think to myself, "I should get out and help, but he seems to have it. Plus, my light has just turned green, and there are people behind me."

I drive across the street, wishing there was more I could do, and pull into the gas station. To my surprise, there is a police car sitting in the lot, and the officer was standing right inside. I went in, made my selection, completed my transaction, turned to him and said, "There has been an accident at the intersection of ______ and ______, right down there. The lady involved is not well, you should probably get there." We both left, he was the third one on the scene, and I continued on my way.

I did a good deed today through no fault or effort of my own. Plus, I was only a minute late to work!

-The0

Lunacy

I have many interests, varied and numerous as the fucking stars. They are all very cool, very worthwhile, very appealing interests. The main issue is that I have ADD. These interests wax ridiculous and then, sadly, slowly wane to the periphery. These interests don't cease to be interesting, though. I simply get distracted by another shiny new awesome. Recall my devout interest in robots just over a year ago? I'm able to identify rotor type and purpose, a couple of technical terms, and I can appreciate the effort put into those things. That is all that has come of those hours perusing and researching. It's been happening for a while now, and I'm making certain to recognize it.

The real trouble in all of this is that I think it keeps me from getting farther ahead in life. I get an interest, a will to make something cool happen, and then either interest fades or something new comes up. It's a hell to be able to recognize this kind of pattern, and be next to powerless to stop it. Like someone who has no apparent willpower.

I am going to start working against this. I'm making permanent logs of things I want to do. They call these things "Goals" apparently. A goal that is not written down is but a dream, apparently. So, with my work cut out for me, I need to prioritize, and make daily efforts towards my goals.

I didn't mean to get all preachy just then. It would seem my current goal is to start making goals, to the end of getting my life together.

...Again.

-The0

Can't get it from Radishes, either.

A couple of weeks ago I had my debit card number stolen. I was woken up early on a day off to a call from my bank, asking about several large purchases. I had just gotten paid the night before, but I had not yet deposited the money. Some one, through one of my online transactions, I must assume, had gotten a hold of my card number and tried to make a bunch of, get this, Apple related purchases. I of course denied all of these charges, had the card cancelled, and began a very broke fortnight.

Seriously though, it's clear that these guys have no idea who the people from whom they steal are. This thing got nipped in the bud faster than I can pour a drink after my work day. Sadly, he (assumed gender) had already drained my bank account with purchases related to overpriced electronics. That's where all this beauty lies.

1. You're not going to get blood from a turnip. I had next to nothing to give, and your stupid ass tried to steal everything I had at the bottom on my fiscal cycle. Moron.
2. Really? Apple? REALLY? The only online purchases I made in the first place, from which you could have stolen my card number were were for purchases diametrically OPPOSED to Apple. Someone's got a little problem recognizing patterns, huh? This is risky information, I know, but I don't think you're stupid enough to try this twice.
3. By cancelling the card, refuting the purchases, and sifting through enough tape to get through it, I have completely voided your fraudulent purchases. It takes more effort to overwrite yours, but guess what? Your effort was actually for naught now. You've been cancelled out. How's that feel, weakling?

I'm much more careful with my (well-protected) card now, and all in all, I'm wiser and safer for this experience. Suck and fuck it, slacker!

-The0

The Blood Farmer's Dilemma

So, I recently saw Daybreakers with the good doctor. It was pretty enjoyable. I'm always happy to see Sam Neill get more work (a long-time respect for Dr. Grant is to blame for that) and anything with Willem Dafoe is going to be a hit. I couldn't tell what was rougher, the skin on his face or the grain of the film.

While I'm disappointed to see yet another vampire flick hitting the screens, I'm glad that it stuck to some sort of canon. These vampires can't be seen in mirrors, a stake through the heart kills instantly, and nothing but human blood fills their hunger. The mirror thing hasn't been explored in a very long time, and while there probably won't be a sequel, it was very interesting to see it presented.

The premise of the movie was unique as well. The vampire-human wars were long over. They won, and since they have to feed on human blood, we literally became a cash crop. Humans were snatched up from the streets they used to own, to live out the rest of their lives as blood machines. The victorious vampire vanguard continued to get their supplied and rationed blood from various avenues (think: StarBlood's, St Louis Blood Co, Panera Blood, Drippin' Donuts, Hemo's Pizza, Plasma Hut [stop me!]) as they took on our old streets, jobs, and undead lives.

This, of course, can't go on forever, setting up the conflict we need in order to have a story. Blood runs low, they start running out of humans, and they start searching for alternative fuels. Foods. Sorry. They can't get an artificial blood created, and reserves are drying up. People in advanced stages of blood deprivation are like crazed humanoid bats, devoid of all thought but to get more blood. They needed more humans in a bad way, or an alternative, or a way to wean their hunger. Enter Willem Dafoe as the world's first cured vampire. Without giving too much away, the cure is something that kills them, and then the cure is something that sustains them. Deus ex Machina, right out of nowhere.

A weird thing to see was how human these vampires turned out to be. Shuffling in line, waiting for coffee, watching the news, and struggling at jobs. It's like being a vampire doesn't have that undertone of sexual lust, power and control, and the fascination with the immortality of the undead was profoundly understated. Like the rat race never has a finish line. A healthy embrace of classic vampire lore, with a good reality check. I liked this movie, if nothing else as a thought exercise. 80%, will probably buy the DVD. See this film if you like lots of syrup-y blood, gore, Sam Neill, Willem Dafoe, fire, and classic cars. Don't see this film if you like sparkles. You'll cry.

-The0

Like eHarmony

Always, always always always, Always always always check the compatibility of components before you ever install them.

I still feel like I am a relatively smart person, but it's been just over 2 years since I last learned this lesson, and I've killed another computer. Happily, I decided to buy my Cassima before I did this, upon which I write now. I bought a new Intel Q9550 processor, like I've always wanted to, and promptly murdered my giant gaming rig the instant I installed it.

After further testing, it now seems that the chip itself is busted (may have been a DOA) but still, I've been planning this upgrade ever since I bought the main box. It's taken like, 3 months to save to afford this thing. I may have stepped on a couple of toes, and potentially have stressed friendships to get this thing. Now my motherboard is fried. There's a lesson in this somewhere.

But I still have friends. A couple of dear brothers feel that this is kind of unfair, and despite my own ignorance, they're willing to chip in and help me get a new motherboard. One of them has even declared that he forbids me from getting anything that isn't an upgrade. God bless you all. Or Good Fortune! Or whatever you happen to believe in. Thank you!

Check for EVERY level of compatibility, anytime you make an upgrade. My rig's symptoms are available upon request. And now, time to file an RMA (here's hoping.)

-The0

Alien Apartheid

I saw District 9 recently, and I feel like I have to put my stink of opinions on the Internet. This is one of the better movies of the year. Let me expand into the themes I noticed.

The aliens decided to come to a stop over South Africa, which already has a history of intolerance on par with that of the US before its civil rights movements. The film cleverly defused the "first contact" glitz by making it so that the aliens had to depend on humans for survival. In a militarized slum, we see echoes of concentration camps, Warsaw ghettos, and recent disaster relief efforts.

Aliens quickly become second class citizens, addicts to high cholesterol puréed meat products and scarcely capable of producing in our world economy. Much intolerance brews. A desk worker who has a job essentially keeping aliens down has to interact directly with them. A moral is learned through this man later in the film. I've spoiled enough there.

One of the key trends in popular media lately seems to be demonizing corporations. District 9 did not disappoint those looking for such a trend. MNU (the company for which the aforementioned character works) has programs in alien weapons research. It is here that we see the only example of real percieved value in this great extraterrestrial contact.

What I'm getting at is that I think D9 really underlined what our human nature can be at its worst. Here is an example of something that doesn't even come from our planet, and we took the opportunity to chain down the potential new alpha species, and try to get their bigger, pointy-er sticks. We took non-humans, made them sub-human, and despite having accomplished the feat of intergalactic travel (as a species,) all we wanted to do was get their weapons to work for us. Is this what really motivates us humans? Dominance? Greed? History seems to say yes.

On a side note, exactly what kind of ship was this? I like to think that this giant ship was some sort of scout ship, one of many the aliens sent through the galaxy. Maybe even a a colonization ship, which would've put just as much desire for domination on their egos. Interesting to ponder, that's for true.

SPOILER WARNING!!! This post contains some spoilers.

-The0

History...history...history...history

So in the middle of healing up a self-inflicted wound, I was invited out to a psychobilly show. Psychobilly is a genre which really isn't in my current vein, but for the night that I had on the 19th, it very well could earn a slot. What follows is a short story.

I limp to my vehicle after visiting a friend, and make my way over to the corner of Cardinal and Locust, which was not a familiar route. I wound up parking about 5 blocks away, and started hobbling over to the club. As I tottered on, I was thinking, "Do I really know this person well enough to go through all this effort? I'm not even a big fan of the style of music." I met the boyo in the midst of a chase that wound out being nothing more than the basis for my manifesto. His friendship is arguably the best thing I got out of the experience.

I'm halfway to the destination when a little sprinkle begins. I've spent enough time in the great outdoors to know when weather is going to go from bad to worse. I run as fast as I can get my busted ass to run to the nearest shelter, which turned out to be the steeple doorway of the St. Francis Xavier College Church. As the drizzle turned to deluge, I found myself thankful for religion again, if only for environmental purposes. I haven't felt that way in a while. Funny the way things work.

While I have spent enough time outdoors to recognize when weather will get bad, I have not, apparently, spent enough time to know when the weather has actually come to the end of it's yarn. The monsoon slowed, and whereas the show was about to start, I had to get moving. I ventured out, and no sooner had 30 seconds passed than it started to pour again. So, here I am, drenched in a matter of seconds, broke, and pretty well lost. But! Detirmined still to reach my goal. (On a side note, if you ever find yourself walking home in the rain, and have nothing else to do with your day, just let it soak you. It feels wonderful.)

I stopped for a quick breather from the rain in a parking garage not far from the bar to which I was heading. I recognized it a few minutes later. It was the garage I had parked in the LAST time I saw this particalur friend. After wringing out my shirt, I asked directions to the bar. The rain stopped. Had I waited 5 more minutes at the church, I would have been perfectly dry. I shouted out, as was my wont, and trudged on.

I did finally make it to the venue, and even talked my way out of the cover. I met my friend, who loaded me down with free swag, to include a dry shirt. I met his friends, and I got to brag about my wound a little. While this meant no moshing during the show, I was still able to enjoy it.

The title of this rant comes from a strange occurance that happened in college. I went to go see Flogging Molly for the first time ever, and was actually pulled up on stage by one of their opening acts, Throw Rag. I was made to play washboard in front of a packed Blue Note. Back to the present. Near the end of the show, my friend (whom I have neglected to mention was now a part of the band,) pulled me up on stage and shoved a washboard in my hands. A packed bar, all moshing to part of my rhythm. It was exhilarating. I didn't pop any stitches, I had a fun time, and I became a little famous again.

I guess the point of this little story is that if you feel like you're going through a harrowing time for next to nothing, stick to it. You might end up having a lot of fun, or at least be a harder person for it. Have fun with life, and try new things.

The Goddamn Gallows Myspace.

-The0

'Bout that time, eh chaps?

Well, here we are. Another Valentine's Day (or if you're one for clichéd humor, Singles Awareness Day.) This is just a temporary post, intended to fill the gap between work and midnight. A Valentine's Day post will technically occur after Valentine's Day. It'll be good. Patience, young Skywalker.

* * *

And we're back! Today is the one day of the year where single people are generally expected to be a little surly of their relational status. I have decided to have a slightly more positive outlook on things however, and stick to the man. Method of choice: sticking it to the women (Ha!)

Today I got up early and went straight to my computer. I didn't go through the thoughtful and loving process of cooking someone breakfast in bed. Instead, after noting that my case temperature was a little high for my tastes, I went ahead and gave my computer case a couple new fans and upgrades. No flowers and tasteful, considerate cards, just upgrades for my ultimate enjoyment.

I then went to go wash my truck. Ashley is my current valentine. She's been there for me when I've needed her, and has broken down but twice over the 40,000 miles I've had her. So I decided I'd do something nice for her. I cleaned out her crevices and trunk, and washed her, finishing with a wax job. This was time I could have been spending shopping for the perfect gift, or massaging, or waiting on some one's beck and call. Filling a void with stimulating and thoughtful, flirtatious conversation. I could have used all this time to make someone special feel perfectly beautiful, so I did. I polished up the one thing that's been here for me (unlike you, missy.)

Now, I'm not disillusioned. I'm well aware that my SUV is an inanimate object and doesn't have feelings. But the thing is that I spent the time and effort I could have used to make you feel pretty, making myself and my baddass toys even more baddass. Ha.

I then went to work. I spent time earning money to spend on me. No pretty dresses or fancy meals, just stuff that I want. I made myself a more positive force in society, instead of building a pedestal on which to place the object of my affection (which I did do with my truck and computer.) I just want to let you have a hint. I am fantastic as a boyfriend. I have never forgotten a birthday, or a special date, and I certainly know how to make a shining Valentine's Day. Thank you, ladies. I didn't have to go through the hassle this year. I got to work on what makes The0, The0. Today was my day, not yours. My gain, your loss. :Þ

And on that note, a curious thing happened today. eHarmony seems to have directed a charming young lady my way. We'll have to see how that turns out. Also, most of the females at my place of employment are single this year as well. A most curious occurrence, because I thought it was only me and my partners in crime. Not saying that a relationship is the ultimate accessory or validation in life, but it sure does help with the grind. Also, my "If they're hot, they're taken" rule was definitely brought into question. Curious.

Also, last night I watched American Splendor. It's about the life and times of a miserable man named Harvey Pekar, after he worked out getting a comic series made out of his life. I tell you, nothing makes you feel better about yourself quite the way like watching someone else's life suck does.

I'm simply rambling at this point. It's been a long day, and I had much bigger plans for this post. It seems to have petered out. Oh well. Have a nice evening.

That's what she said.

Side Note: I have made an addition to the previous post. Feel free to check it out if you have the will.

-The0