I Hurt You

Rammstein has released their second video from the new album, Liebe ist für Alle Da. They chose the track Ich Tu Dir Weh, a powerful, driving song about, well, various sado-masochistic acts. It's one of may favorite of many songs on the album, and while it's not my first choice for a video from this album, it's a welcome addition to the visual library.

The Video!!!

At first view, it makes me swell with pride. My first concert was seeing Rammstein, on their Mutter World Tour from 2001 to 2002. The excitement, the smoke, the fear of being hurt, and the love of going deaf. When they took the stage, they were dressed in a full motif from their album, and of the flames went into their set. They were more pyrotechnics than Independence Day, more people sharing a unified love than there were in college, and I had more fun, in my sweaty singed t-shirt then than I have had in a long while.

This video woke up distinct memories of that very show. This video is a fantastic image of Rammstein. Spiky, flame-broiled, active, and in love the the heaviness of their art. Of course, this is the idea of industrial. Note the massive machinery, churning with the metal of the guitars. The electronic sparks as the synths plays. The activity of the band members as the play. Lastly the lighting effects out of Till's mouth was an especially nice touch. Enlightening us with hurtful words.

This is all a very impressive display, as it only took them 3 months to kick this video out, and they're all (still) pushing 50 years old. This is what I love about this group, and what I imagine and envision think out every time I hear good industrial music.

God I hope they come back to America, just one last time.

-The0

Not Smart.

I had my wisdom teeth taken out recently. You remember when I mentioned that horrible chip in a molar after I had my foot butchered? It turns out that was simply a portent into worse times to come. I went to a dentist to see what could be done, and well, it turned out that nothing could be done.

Without grossing you out too much, my mouth was apparently a mess. I can remember previous visits to the dentist, but I haven't a memory of my last dentist visit. Doctor Teeth said he wanted them removed so that he wouldn't have to end up repairing something that would probably break again. I can't afford to have any of this work taken care of anyway. I might as well have chosen to leave them in.

The oral surgeon was a good acquaintance, I learned, and after a little consultation, he went to work early in the morning. Novacain is a bad ass painkiller, and significantly cheaper than anesthesia for an hour. I was very thankful to the following things during the procedure: iMetal ear-bud headphones, for being able to overpower the grinding sound in my skull, DJ Tiësto and his continuous In Search of Sunrise track, for being a soothing yet distracting track, and the 4th generation iPod, for being easy to use when you can't move. The literal thought of what was happening as I felt the vibration was terrifying, like a good horror movie.

On the first run, the doctor missed a little bit of root on the right upper molar. He opened me back up, and drilled the last of it out. This is my main irritance, because when he did this he perforated into my lower sinus. Such a communication between my mouth and sinus makes it impossible to play my saxophone. At least, play it well. I can't build up the pressure needed to play the lower notes at all. It's maddening to have this shit not heal. I'm very concerned that I'll miss out on playing my favorite instrument forever. If I do, I'm not certain who to blame, but I promise, I'm going to burn something expensive to the ground.

After all this pudding and soft food I was required to eat, I did get a good sense of what was at stake. I had to have some meat one day. Had to, avoiding it wasn't an option. I crammed a Reuben into a food processor and ground it into paste. It was awful. Flavorless, without texture, and pretty much just sick. I ate it, but if I don't wind up caring for my teeth, I'm going have to eat that every damn day by the time I'm 50.

No thanks.

-The0

The Blood Farmer's Dilemma

So, I recently saw Daybreakers with the good doctor. It was pretty enjoyable. I'm always happy to see Sam Neill get more work (a long-time respect for Dr. Grant is to blame for that) and anything with Willem Dafoe is going to be a hit. I couldn't tell what was rougher, the skin on his face or the grain of the film.

While I'm disappointed to see yet another vampire flick hitting the screens, I'm glad that it stuck to some sort of canon. These vampires can't be seen in mirrors, a stake through the heart kills instantly, and nothing but human blood fills their hunger. The mirror thing hasn't been explored in a very long time, and while there probably won't be a sequel, it was very interesting to see it presented.

The premise of the movie was unique as well. The vampire-human wars were long over. They won, and since they have to feed on human blood, we literally became a cash crop. Humans were snatched up from the streets they used to own, to live out the rest of their lives as blood machines. The victorious vampire vanguard continued to get their supplied and rationed blood from various avenues (think: StarBlood's, St Louis Blood Co, Panera Blood, Drippin' Donuts, Hemo's Pizza, Plasma Hut [stop me!]) as they took on our old streets, jobs, and undead lives.

This, of course, can't go on forever, setting up the conflict we need in order to have a story. Blood runs low, they start running out of humans, and they start searching for alternative fuels. Foods. Sorry. They can't get an artificial blood created, and reserves are drying up. People in advanced stages of blood deprivation are like crazed humanoid bats, devoid of all thought but to get more blood. They needed more humans in a bad way, or an alternative, or a way to wean their hunger. Enter Willem Dafoe as the world's first cured vampire. Without giving too much away, the cure is something that kills them, and then the cure is something that sustains them. Deus ex Machina, right out of nowhere.

A weird thing to see was how human these vampires turned out to be. Shuffling in line, waiting for coffee, watching the news, and struggling at jobs. It's like being a vampire doesn't have that undertone of sexual lust, power and control, and the fascination with the immortality of the undead was profoundly understated. Like the rat race never has a finish line. A healthy embrace of classic vampire lore, with a good reality check. I liked this movie, if nothing else as a thought exercise. 80%, will probably buy the DVD. See this film if you like lots of syrup-y blood, gore, Sam Neill, Willem Dafoe, fire, and classic cars. Don't see this film if you like sparkles. You'll cry.

-The0

Stitches

There are memories that each person has, be they good, bad, bitter or sweet. Some are a healing presence, and every time you think back to them, you feel better, empowered, and can't help but smile. Others are scars, reminders of hurt long or recently past, and teach us a lesson or refrain us a twinge of frown when reflected. Memories are key to helpings us be who we are, and I am pleased to say I have many memories over such a relatively short period of time.

I have one memory that doesn't really fit the previous metaphor. This memory is more like broken glass, stuck deep within the skin. Any looking at the scar lets me know it's there, but any scuffling of the area starts a new cascade of pain and subsequent healing effort to be expended.

This scar I got long ago, nigh on 9 years ago. It was probably through a series of my own blunders and assumptions, but suffice it to say, it hurt me badly. Psycho-scarring, and nearly in a life-ending way for me. This was folly, but it wasn't the end of the wound.

I made several attempts to convert the memory, try to make it from bad to good. 3 attempts to be precise. These ended unhappily, and the glass went deeper than could be retrieved out of me on the last of them. I lost many happy things to this memory, most again to my own folly, and I'm happy to see it undisturbed.

Recently, it got disturbed. Not scuffled, just scratched. I'm not happy about it, and to try and protect my meager façade of happiness and integrity in front of a warehouse of messy and hateful boxes, I'm not going to go into details regarding what exactly I'm talking about. It's supposedly in the past, and nothing can change it.

To sum my shard of reflection, I think I would rather have been in a train wreck than to endure all this. It heals better, makes for a better story, and doesn't cost you nearly as much.

-The0

Saddle Up.

It has been a very nice break for me. I logged just over 90 hours into all my Steam games, and ate pretty well whatever I wanted. I stayed up late, I slept in. I saved the universe, only to doom it to total fascism. I melted about a hundred faces off with a face-melting solo, and I got my foot mostly all better. I hang out for extended periods with my favorite people, and had a few drinks almost every day. A great way to start the new year.

I made ZERO dollars during this little vacation.

Despite this I still went out. Dr. Girlfriend treated me to Eddie Izzard. A good show, and I still always laugh at his skits. Many friends were at that show, and we ended up at a nearby cordials bar. A cute place. This is all in faded memory.

After such a long pause I am surprised I have this much to say. More disasters are in the works, but suffice it to say, I just don't care to write right now. Suck it up.

It's not gold, but it's a start. There are some events that deserve their own separate posts. Important ones. Revealing ones. Ones that would probably be better off not written out, but that's not my style.

-The0