Not Smart.

I had my wisdom teeth taken out recently. You remember when I mentioned that horrible chip in a molar after I had my foot butchered? It turns out that was simply a portent into worse times to come. I went to a dentist to see what could be done, and well, it turned out that nothing could be done.

Without grossing you out too much, my mouth was apparently a mess. I can remember previous visits to the dentist, but I haven't a memory of my last dentist visit. Doctor Teeth said he wanted them removed so that he wouldn't have to end up repairing something that would probably break again. I can't afford to have any of this work taken care of anyway. I might as well have chosen to leave them in.

The oral surgeon was a good acquaintance, I learned, and after a little consultation, he went to work early in the morning. Novacain is a bad ass painkiller, and significantly cheaper than anesthesia for an hour. I was very thankful to the following things during the procedure: iMetal ear-bud headphones, for being able to overpower the grinding sound in my skull, DJ Tiësto and his continuous In Search of Sunrise track, for being a soothing yet distracting track, and the 4th generation iPod, for being easy to use when you can't move. The literal thought of what was happening as I felt the vibration was terrifying, like a good horror movie.

On the first run, the doctor missed a little bit of root on the right upper molar. He opened me back up, and drilled the last of it out. This is my main irritance, because when he did this he perforated into my lower sinus. Such a communication between my mouth and sinus makes it impossible to play my saxophone. At least, play it well. I can't build up the pressure needed to play the lower notes at all. It's maddening to have this shit not heal. I'm very concerned that I'll miss out on playing my favorite instrument forever. If I do, I'm not certain who to blame, but I promise, I'm going to burn something expensive to the ground.

After all this pudding and soft food I was required to eat, I did get a good sense of what was at stake. I had to have some meat one day. Had to, avoiding it wasn't an option. I crammed a Reuben into a food processor and ground it into paste. It was awful. Flavorless, without texture, and pretty much just sick. I ate it, but if I don't wind up caring for my teeth, I'm going have to eat that every damn day by the time I'm 50.

No thanks.

-The0