Where's Judith Harris and Freud's kid when you need him/her?

I never thought a hiatus would be something to which I wasn't looking forward. I have been very busy these last couple of weeks, and I also haven't had much about which to type. But now I'm back, for the time being. My date went very well, we even had a second date but a week later. Also went very well. We went to see Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde at the Repertory Theatre of St. Louis. I didn't get to reflect on it very much with my date, but I did have some musings about it upon which I wanted to get opinions. Hiatus Over. Starting now.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is a show mostly about two men in one man's body. The upstanding, intelligent, restrained pillar of the community Dr. Henry Jekyll, and the depraved, crude, ultimately hated but happy and free Mr. Edward Hyde. Throughout the story, Dr. Jekyll is trying to resist the urge to consume this tincture that he made which brings out Mr. Hyde, which is later alluded to being an addiction. Murders are committed, the two sides argue within the same head, and Dr. Jekyll kills himself. The last lines of the show are something to the order of "I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that I was a good man, and everybody loved me and looked up to me. I was the perfect gentleman. And I was so unhappy." These lines are spoken by Mr. Hyde.

There are of course several themes here which all fall under something of the same umbrella. During the show, the nature vs. nurture argument is resolved, if only for story purposes. Dr. Jekyll denies that upbringing has anything to do with it, and that that are definitely "two streams of the mind." One which is all desire and hurtful, and one which brings ultimate peace to the soul. His works were to isolate these and remove the bad. His response to the proposal of the opposite occurring, the good being removed leaving only the bad, was that if it were possible, why would anyone want to have anything but peace? To me, it would seem that such an ideal would be synonymous with self-restraint and denial, as he admitted in his other character that he enjoyed beating up streetwalkers and the refined, and happy "to pay for the privilege." While Dr. Jekyll, the man was cold, calculated, unhappy, single, yet compassionate to his fellow man. It's a tough argument, really. With only two options, I don't think I can in good conscience say I would choose lonely inner peace over happy mirth and mayhem.

Another theme which can easily be brought up is Freud's structural model of the psyche. That's right, the id, ego, and superego. These streams of consciousness alluded to in the previous paragraph are a good representation of the superego and the id. I would love to say that before the good doctor started drinking those potions of his, he was a picture perfect example of the balanced Ego. Striving for perfection while still finding time to give into his basest drives. These of course manifest themselves as the superego Dr. Jekyll and our id-man Mr. Hyde after he starts drinking the tincture. This can bring in a question regarding the way our society views good and evil. Mr. Hyde is constantly demonized in the play, and Dr. Jekyll conversely is practically deified. Is it truly evil just to satisfied all your deepest desires, with no concern for society or other? Is it really saintly to set aside your life for the betterment of society? It's a good question, but all the same, I'm glad to have just a slightly imbalanced ego in me, for the time being.

Other questions raised during the show were, "Where does the body end, and the mind/soul begin?" "What prompts our morbid fascinations?" Walter (a link to his weblog, not the fact at hand) has told me there have been discoveries in human nerves where doctors and scientists cannot distinguish the nerves from electrochemical processes (or something.) I'll have to ask him and edit this post regarding that. To the second question, my date (who shall remain nameless to protect her reputation) believes that there is a real thing to our maleficent fascinations. Have you ever been stuck in traffic, cursing and and oathing against the rubberneckers, only to find yourself gawking at the ghastly scene? Nothing like seeing a Cobalt turned into a Pringle to make you realize that your speedometer should match those signs on the side of the road. Is that the answer? Are we trying to learn from the failings of others? Or are we trying to satisfy a bloodlust while thinking "Better him than me"?

I would highly recommend this play. It had a very unique set, somewhat minimalistic in it's design. Blood on the ground was cleverly represented by red lights underneath the stage. Hyde's multiple streams of thought were all voiced by other actors lining up behind him. A very entertaining show, for both the morbidly obsessed and the well to do.

-The0

Why the Hell not?

So I'm sitting here, knowing that it's about that time to make a new weblog post, and I haven't the slightest idea about what to write. I'm dressed, well fed, and slightly overhung. It's a good thing. However, while I had budgeted some time to sit here and think about it, I have this very moment been called into work early. So, off I go. I'll have something after my shift, I hope.

In short, To Be Continued...

* * *

And We're Back!

Well, recent occurrences have prompted me to turn this into an "Update" post. I was working along tonight, minding my own business, when an unexpected text message arrived. To make a short story shorter, I have a date tomorrow night. The lovely eHarmony match and I have decided we shall meet. Joy. I haven't been on a proper date in years, but the timing is somewhat serendipitous.

On my last day off, Tuesday, I enlisted the help of my brother and turned my life into something different. The clutter in my apartment is gone, and my bills are relatively under control. I found out that there is indeed carpet in my bedroom. There are also counter tops in my kitchen. I got a haircut, and I look, feel, and live like a whole new me. I am really glad that this is happening now.

Speaking of now, Now onto concerns. I am not the best person I can be yet. I am currently in search for a second job, whereas my date is about six weeks from being called Doctor. She is a smart vet. I am an angry philosophical worker ant, not yet even capable of self-sustaining. However, to my advantage, I am smart. I have a bachelor's degree in two fields (albeit the same essential field of social science) which I hope to continue some day, and an associate's in another. I am a jack of many trades, and a damn charming person when I try. Please pardon the ego trip. To sum, I fear I'm not in her league, but with a bit of personal work, I could be, and wind up a better person nonetheless.

Second concern, maintaining the new me. I have a bad pattern for getting a new set of skills, objectives, or resolutions, sticking with them for just long enough, and slacking. I'm going to have to actually maintain this new set, because I actually believe that this is a better state than what I lived in before. I will lose the drive eventually, and wind up slacking again. The key is in recognizing the pattern and working against it at a key point (or points.) If more people could do that, many problems and crises would be avoided in my opinion. So, my first defense is telling people that I am going to maintain this new nose-to-to-the-grindstone-and-up-for-a-beer lifestyle. It's like telling people that you're quitting smoking (also incidentally true.) I guess that telling people means that they'll help keep an eye on you, so that they can tell you when you're slipping. You also have to keep up your resolution to them, or risk looking like a tool. There must be other facets to the idea of society helping someone keep their resolve, but fatigue, among other things is keeping me from assuaging the need to think on it longer.

This is all date anxiety, I'm sure. Wish me Luck!

-The0