Ornithological Genocide

Thanksgiving has come and gone for another year. It's my Mom's Favorite holiday, and she desires the whole fmaily there on that day. It was a good day. It underlined the many things for which I am thankful. In no order whatsoever, here is an incomplete compendium.

• I am thankful to have my lovely Dr. Girlfriend in my life. She makes the whole fucking "Let's get to the grindstone" lifestyle more than worth it. After the dust settles at the end of the day, she's there, making everything better.
• I am thankful that somehow, in the middle of a wage freeze, my new boss saw fit to push for my raise, which went through. I think it is probably because the new kid they just hired was probably working for more money than me. Whatever. I feel less like an ant than I did before.
• I am thankful for all my friends who continue to show their support to me, and all they ask in return is that I be who I am. What wonderful fun!
• I am thankful for the fact that I, for the time being, have a metabolism that allows me to get away with eating anything I damn well please and not gain an ounce. (Side note: I don't work out enough)
• I am thankful for the fact that my computer can and does act as a space heater in what is certain to be a cold and expensive winter.
• I am thankful that my beloved Rammstein put out another album for us fans. Great stuff.
• I am thankful for the new album and new season of Dethklok and Metalocalypse. Brutal.
• I am thankful for Tim Schafer's Brütal Legend. It's always been this way in my mind, and now I can show others what I've been seeing when listening to the aforemention material.
• I am thankful for all the holiday sales that have made my holiday shopping that much easier on my budget.
• I am thankful of course for the entirity of my family. Who am I without all of you?
• I am thankful that my truck is still hauling ass when I need to do so.
• I am thankful that the band is getting back together.
• I am thankful for the Internet and all its wonders.
• I am thankful for Steam. Period.
• I am thankful for Firearms, Tobacco, and Alcohol.
• I am thankful that I can consider this post finished.

This was a little more arduous than it should have been. Eh. Still not complete. Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

-The0

Old computers are called OLD for a reason

My parents have finally decided to get rid of the computer that has been haunting the kitchen since 2002. This thing is so old that new RAM for it costs more than new RAM for YOUR computer. Remember ENIAC? ENIAC should remember this thing. My older brother was trying to get the processor off of the heat sink (so as to put a new one on there) today and somehow or another, he was lacerated very badly on his finger. 5 stitches. It took injury to convince my parents to buy a new machine. Thank god.

Now, I love and respect my parents very dearly, but their computer has not progressed with them and their needs. I'm happy that my older brother (who taught me most of what I know about computers) will be there to help them in their purchase of a new machine. As a way to help illustrate how long they stuck it out with this computer, and in the ghost of Duke Nukem Forever, here is a small list of things that are younger than this electronic abomination.

• The Invasion of Afghanistan
• The lake behind the Three Gorges Dam
• Martha Stewart's insider trading fiasco
• The Beltway Sniper attacks
• The Euro (technically speaking)
• My social life, thanks to that very computer

It's been fun, it's been real. It's been real fun, Kitchen computer. Happy retirement, you murderous box.

-The0

I hope I'm not Ethically Biased

I had the strangest thing occur today. I got off of work (which I am truly beginning to loathe, between managers, quality of product, and overall wage), and I went and did my job at a friend house, only to a degree that I enjoyed. I found pleasure in doing what I do. And what was stranger was the fact that my enthusiasm may have been infectious. I was able to get everyone present excited in the project at hand, and the end result came faster than we all expected, and wound out better than we were hoping. It was a good evening.

Now, my question on this whole course of events is, “Why don’t I feel this way at work?” What keeps me from channeling my enthusiasm and creativity into my job? I choose to blame those that have established themselves before me. I’m not going to blame them for working in the field longer than I have, that would be immature and “hot headed” for lack of a better expression. To go against anything that the tenured workers have to say might as well be asking if I could violently fuck his or her mother. Thus, any use of materials or additions that might be consider that might be considered fresh, new, entertaining, or creative, get stifled and belittled by my co-workers and managers. So, I feel like if I’m doing anything a bit unorthodox, it will get belittled and thrown back at me. It’s not like I’m trying to sell this, but with my performance, leadership, and results at my friend’s house, I easily could.

But maybe it goes deeper than that. I am beginning to think that I’m forever going to be that guy that shows up to work not wanting to be there. I'll be the guy that doesn’t believe in the product simply because he’s dissatisfied with his experience of making the product.

So, after a bit of thought, the solution presents itself. In order to move forward, I have to put my nose to this dissatisfactory grindstone and pump out the best possible product I can, sub-par though it may be. Once I happen to do that, if I remain unrecognized for it, I begin searching for a place of employment. I hope this can come to fruition, I don’t have long, I’m nearly certain the general manager has it out for me.

* * *

This post is dedicated to my mother (who continues to be there for me) and father (who for some reason continues to believe in me, and bails me out time and again when I fuck up.) I love you both with all my heart.

-The0

This is my Manifesto

Not to be overly dramatic, but I have finally come to terms with what makes me tick, and how unhealthy my psyche is. I'm not looking for pity. Moreover, I'm looking for some other angry person that agrees with what I say. 

I believe strongly in Darwinism, from a philosophical standpoint anyway. I believe in alpha males and bettering the gene pool. I believe that the more you do, the stronger you are, the harder you work, the better you study equals the more you are worth to society.  As such, the more society should reward you and the more children you actually get to have. Anyone who has seen the movie Idiocracy (incidentally my favorite horror film) can tell you this is not the case. Any lameass drag on the society that he or she should be supporting can fuck their brains out, and procreate with no punishment. 

The idea that infuriates me is that I know I don't work or study hard enough, and I spend far too much of my free time goofing around. But, I’m not trying to spread my underachieving seed all around, making more problems. I’m being what society ought to consider "responsible." I have met examples worse than I.  I have made conversation with a guy who smokes dope, sells it out of his grandparent's house (his grandparents are partners), doesn't hold down a job, dropped out of eighth grade (not exaggerating, that's by his own admission), and yet, has been married once, has a son, divorced her, and left her a single mom. 

Here's a tangent that will loop back. Though I don't work enough, I work a lot. Any night I can get off is a blessing. One night I was commissioned by my pledge father to make sushi for his girlfriend's birthday. I figured, "Hey, easy $50, I’ll do this, have a beer or two, go home and return to status quo."  Instead I meet a lovely girl, and though I should know better, I fall ass over teakettle over her in a couple short weeks. As is the story of my life, it turns out she was taken. But, she was, by the reports of her friends, on the verge of being single again. So what do I do? I listen to the Disney films, and I try to make a chase after her. I spent $1600 over the course of several months trying to make magic moments, to try and show her I had my shit more together than the prick she was seeing. That I could be the one who could give the normal, happy simple life to which she alluded desire. I may have been one in a long line of those people, but hey, it's my one chance.  If you haven't connected the dots by now, the aforementioned jack hole is the ass she was dating. 

Now I’m by no means an alpha male, but I can't have it on my ego that this guy was a higher rank than me. He was a bully, he was abusive, and objectively speaking (meaning I’m not the only one who thinks so) he is the worst thing to happen to her. I commend her in her ability to find something good and redeeming in him, but I have neither heart nor mercy to someone that doesn't take the effort to even go to high school. She's pregnant by him. I failed to bring her around, and he succeeded in infecting and ruining another young woman's life. That’s 0 to 2, and I have an IQ of roughly 130. I refuse to believe that my effort has been in such vain, and that my father's seed gets deferred while this shit, this filth, this paragon of the Idiocracy, gets to procreate. He shouldn't even be fucking. (On a side note, if you're a male and you don't carry around a condom simply out of principle, you don't deserve to fuck, period.) 

My manifesto of sorts is this: You don't get to have kids until you prove that you're a positive force in society. I don't know who or what is going to judge this, but it seems important to the survival of this society. My father is a man who underlines this fact perfectly. He was born crippled, scarcely had the love of his father, mother was an alcoholic. The family was being torn apart by his handicap, which was by no means his fault. It was a very tough situation for him. What did he do? Did he lay back and take it? Did he let the world get him down, and start slinging hash for quick bucks? Did he think that the world has wronged him in innumerable ways and therefore he deserves a handout? Not even remotely. He got up, worked his own ass through college, got a masters degree, and after years of hard work, he made himself perfectly alpha, despite physical lacking. He EARNED his ability to start a family. 

Now that is an example of how life should go. That’s fucking progress. I have recently, we're talking Sunday, decided that I have no special woman destined for me, and that trying to love is simply a waste of time (take that, Disney!) I have decided that what needs to occur is for me to let these things stew in me, and use it to drive me through life, like my father. Then maybe I’ll think about honoring the gene pool with my bloodline's genes (and my ego, clearly.)

Many of these statements would probably be considered unhealthy. I have a self-aggrandized ego, I hold my father as a god, and I have a general hatred of those that get laid around me. But I feel that this collection of opinions and observations justifies me. If it doesn't, then I may just be evil.

To be continued, I need some fucking alcohol. (insert irony here)

-The0