First Post

Well, I broke down and did it. I started a blog. The idea behind this isn't really to be clever or philosophical, but mainly just an outlet for my anger and frustration. I'm going to piss, moan, and rant a lot in this thing, about my ego, my personal and sexual frustration, and against the whole of society. If it were public, I'd probably lose a lot of friends, make enemies and generally piss people off. 

This whole thing comes out of an episode at church. I had finally gotten up in time to go to catholic mass without my father for once. I was proud, I was finally taking my own spirituality into my own hands. My motivations were kind of ulterior though. My dad had sometimes spied this woman there, hotter than hell (ironic in a church, and yes, I have actually spoken to her,) that he wanted me to ask out at some point. I had intended to try and get back into talking to the fairer sex, and though I hadn't spoken to her much, I was going to try the whole "This is really forward, and I'm sorry, but would like to..." approach.

Well, she wasn't there, so I figured I should at least pray like a good little catholic. The sermon angered me. It was essentially about how any use of our bodies that wasn't directly glorifying God (fucking, smoking, drinking, using contraception, etc.) was sinful. Any philosophy or life-view that allowed these actions was sinful and bad too. I felt a lot of the guilt for which the Catholic church is famous, and i just sat there, seething. Right after communion, I made a prayer. It was essentially to the tune of "Lord, please take my anger, and make me a vehicle of your love."

I don't think I've ever been more pissed off leaving a church.