This is my Manifesto

Not to be overly dramatic, but I have finally come to terms with what makes me tick, and how unhealthy my psyche is. I'm not looking for pity. Moreover, I'm looking for some other angry person that agrees with what I say. 

I believe strongly in Darwinism, from a philosophical standpoint anyway. I believe in alpha males and bettering the gene pool. I believe that the more you do, the stronger you are, the harder you work, the better you study equals the more you are worth to society.  As such, the more society should reward you and the more children you actually get to have. Anyone who has seen the movie Idiocracy (incidentally my favorite horror film) can tell you this is not the case. Any lameass drag on the society that he or she should be supporting can fuck their brains out, and procreate with no punishment. 

The idea that infuriates me is that I know I don't work or study hard enough, and I spend far too much of my free time goofing around. But, I’m not trying to spread my underachieving seed all around, making more problems. I’m being what society ought to consider "responsible." I have met examples worse than I.  I have made conversation with a guy who smokes dope, sells it out of his grandparent's house (his grandparents are partners), doesn't hold down a job, dropped out of eighth grade (not exaggerating, that's by his own admission), and yet, has been married once, has a son, divorced her, and left her a single mom. 

Here's a tangent that will loop back. Though I don't work enough, I work a lot. Any night I can get off is a blessing. One night I was commissioned by my pledge father to make sushi for his girlfriend's birthday. I figured, "Hey, easy $50, I’ll do this, have a beer or two, go home and return to status quo."  Instead I meet a lovely girl, and though I should know better, I fall ass over teakettle over her in a couple short weeks. As is the story of my life, it turns out she was taken. But, she was, by the reports of her friends, on the verge of being single again. So what do I do? I listen to the Disney films, and I try to make a chase after her. I spent $1600 over the course of several months trying to make magic moments, to try and show her I had my shit more together than the prick she was seeing. That I could be the one who could give the normal, happy simple life to which she alluded desire. I may have been one in a long line of those people, but hey, it's my one chance.  If you haven't connected the dots by now, the aforementioned jack hole is the ass she was dating. 

Now I’m by no means an alpha male, but I can't have it on my ego that this guy was a higher rank than me. He was a bully, he was abusive, and objectively speaking (meaning I’m not the only one who thinks so) he is the worst thing to happen to her. I commend her in her ability to find something good and redeeming in him, but I have neither heart nor mercy to someone that doesn't take the effort to even go to high school. She's pregnant by him. I failed to bring her around, and he succeeded in infecting and ruining another young woman's life. That’s 0 to 2, and I have an IQ of roughly 130. I refuse to believe that my effort has been in such vain, and that my father's seed gets deferred while this shit, this filth, this paragon of the Idiocracy, gets to procreate. He shouldn't even be fucking. (On a side note, if you're a male and you don't carry around a condom simply out of principle, you don't deserve to fuck, period.) 

My manifesto of sorts is this: You don't get to have kids until you prove that you're a positive force in society. I don't know who or what is going to judge this, but it seems important to the survival of this society. My father is a man who underlines this fact perfectly. He was born crippled, scarcely had the love of his father, mother was an alcoholic. The family was being torn apart by his handicap, which was by no means his fault. It was a very tough situation for him. What did he do? Did he lay back and take it? Did he let the world get him down, and start slinging hash for quick bucks? Did he think that the world has wronged him in innumerable ways and therefore he deserves a handout? Not even remotely. He got up, worked his own ass through college, got a masters degree, and after years of hard work, he made himself perfectly alpha, despite physical lacking. He EARNED his ability to start a family. 

Now that is an example of how life should go. That’s fucking progress. I have recently, we're talking Sunday, decided that I have no special woman destined for me, and that trying to love is simply a waste of time (take that, Disney!) I have decided that what needs to occur is for me to let these things stew in me, and use it to drive me through life, like my father. Then maybe I’ll think about honoring the gene pool with my bloodline's genes (and my ego, clearly.)

Many of these statements would probably be considered unhealthy. I have a self-aggrandized ego, I hold my father as a god, and I have a general hatred of those that get laid around me. But I feel that this collection of opinions and observations justifies me. If it doesn't, then I may just be evil.

To be continued, I need some fucking alcohol. (insert irony here)

-The0