I hope I'm not Ethically Biased

I had the strangest thing occur today. I got off of work (which I am truly beginning to loathe, between managers, quality of product, and overall wage), and I went and did my job at a friend house, only to a degree that I enjoyed. I found pleasure in doing what I do. And what was stranger was the fact that my enthusiasm may have been infectious. I was able to get everyone present excited in the project at hand, and the end result came faster than we all expected, and wound out better than we were hoping. It was a good evening.

Now, my question on this whole course of events is, “Why don’t I feel this way at work?” What keeps me from channeling my enthusiasm and creativity into my job? I choose to blame those that have established themselves before me. I’m not going to blame them for working in the field longer than I have, that would be immature and “hot headed” for lack of a better expression. To go against anything that the tenured workers have to say might as well be asking if I could violently fuck his or her mother. Thus, any use of materials or additions that might be consider that might be considered fresh, new, entertaining, or creative, get stifled and belittled by my co-workers and managers. So, I feel like if I’m doing anything a bit unorthodox, it will get belittled and thrown back at me. It’s not like I’m trying to sell this, but with my performance, leadership, and results at my friend’s house, I easily could.

But maybe it goes deeper than that. I am beginning to think that I’m forever going to be that guy that shows up to work not wanting to be there. I'll be the guy that doesn’t believe in the product simply because he’s dissatisfied with his experience of making the product.

So, after a bit of thought, the solution presents itself. In order to move forward, I have to put my nose to this dissatisfactory grindstone and pump out the best possible product I can, sub-par though it may be. Once I happen to do that, if I remain unrecognized for it, I begin searching for a place of employment. I hope this can come to fruition, I don’t have long, I’m nearly certain the general manager has it out for me.

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This post is dedicated to my mother (who continues to be there for me) and father (who for some reason continues to believe in me, and bails me out time and again when I fuck up.) I love you both with all my heart.

-The0