Why the Hell not?

So I'm sitting here, knowing that it's about that time to make a new weblog post, and I haven't the slightest idea about what to write. I'm dressed, well fed, and slightly overhung. It's a good thing. However, while I had budgeted some time to sit here and think about it, I have this very moment been called into work early. So, off I go. I'll have something after my shift, I hope.

In short, To Be Continued...

* * *

And We're Back!

Well, recent occurrences have prompted me to turn this into an "Update" post. I was working along tonight, minding my own business, when an unexpected text message arrived. To make a short story shorter, I have a date tomorrow night. The lovely eHarmony match and I have decided we shall meet. Joy. I haven't been on a proper date in years, but the timing is somewhat serendipitous.

On my last day off, Tuesday, I enlisted the help of my brother and turned my life into something different. The clutter in my apartment is gone, and my bills are relatively under control. I found out that there is indeed carpet in my bedroom. There are also counter tops in my kitchen. I got a haircut, and I look, feel, and live like a whole new me. I am really glad that this is happening now.

Speaking of now, Now onto concerns. I am not the best person I can be yet. I am currently in search for a second job, whereas my date is about six weeks from being called Doctor. She is a smart vet. I am an angry philosophical worker ant, not yet even capable of self-sustaining. However, to my advantage, I am smart. I have a bachelor's degree in two fields (albeit the same essential field of social science) which I hope to continue some day, and an associate's in another. I am a jack of many trades, and a damn charming person when I try. Please pardon the ego trip. To sum, I fear I'm not in her league, but with a bit of personal work, I could be, and wind up a better person nonetheless.

Second concern, maintaining the new me. I have a bad pattern for getting a new set of skills, objectives, or resolutions, sticking with them for just long enough, and slacking. I'm going to have to actually maintain this new set, because I actually believe that this is a better state than what I lived in before. I will lose the drive eventually, and wind up slacking again. The key is in recognizing the pattern and working against it at a key point (or points.) If more people could do that, many problems and crises would be avoided in my opinion. So, my first defense is telling people that I am going to maintain this new nose-to-to-the-grindstone-and-up-for-a-beer lifestyle. It's like telling people that you're quitting smoking (also incidentally true.) I guess that telling people means that they'll help keep an eye on you, so that they can tell you when you're slipping. You also have to keep up your resolution to them, or risk looking like a tool. There must be other facets to the idea of society helping someone keep their resolve, but fatigue, among other things is keeping me from assuaging the need to think on it longer.

This is all date anxiety, I'm sure. Wish me Luck!

-The0