I. HATE. Twilight.
I hate it. I hate that through the adoration of prepubescent "tweens" Vampires have gone from horrible wraiths of bloodlust and deception, paragon disciples of Vlad the Impaler, terrors of the night to lousy, brooding pretty boys with perfect hair, who only want to be loved and understood. Instead of bursting into flames in the sunlight, they sparkle?! Like someone sprinkled them with glitter. They sparkle like a beautiful, metro sexual, candyass fashion model. OH MY GOD HAND ME A TOWEL BECAUSE I'M SOAKING WET!!! You girls who helped to make this story a bestseller can all fucking choke.
And heaven forbid some form of brutality should remain in these Ken-dolls-in-halloween-costumes. No! They don't even feed off of humans. They feel that's Wrong. They drink animal blood. That's bullshit. Vampires are immortal. What do they care if something is ostensibly wrong? (Side note: I am a proud carnivore. Bite me [you are what you eat, eat a human, be a human]). Seriously, I am pissed that this movie/story has utterly removed the edge of Vampires and turned them into us. They might as well just be the Backstreet Boys or something.
Where's the line anymore? Is every legend going to be pissed upon and stripped down to it's most potentially appealing factor? Vampires used to be the ultimate predators, and then that turned into sexual predator/physical predator, to intellectual predator. Then it was sexual predator. Still kind of awesome, but now, they're just sex symbols. Lame, glittery boy toys. Who thought of this nonsense?
Stephanie Meyer ruined everything cool about vampires, and turned them straight from dark lords to masturbatory aids. Fuck You, Stephanie. Fuck You, Edward Cullen. Fuck You, Bella. Fuck You, Summit Entertainment, And Fuck You, Moviegoers. I hope New Moon burns your eyes out of your sockets.
-The0
Their next movie is actually going to be "Steve: The Story of a Misunderstood Pedophile Who Only Wanted to Read Winnie the Pooh to Toddlers". The climax of the story will be when a parent of one of the victims states "You don't rape children because you are evil, you do it because of an inherent genetic defect. That makes it ok."
ReplyDeleteAgreed...Twilight is the most insipid piece of "literature" and film to show it's ugly face. I can't believe the idiots that think it's good. I know 10 year olds that write better than Meyer.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI'll meet you halfway. Vampires are not allowed to get any lamer than Count von Count.
ReplyDeletehttp://roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/celebrity-pictures-count-von-count-sparkle-no.jpg
Yeah.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBill
ReplyDelete1. Kills things
2. Bursts into flames with contact of sunlight
3. Can't touch silver.
4. Has to deal with loss of an original love.
Edward
1. Pets things (mostly)
2. Sparkles
3. Not sure. I'll bet nothing happens though.
4. Woos
TrueBlood is a grown-up's examination of the effects of the supernatural on a small town mentality. Twilight is, as previously implied, a tween romance with a superhero with too much make-up.
To further a (not necessarily my) point, I submit the following post, credibility notwithstanding.
http://www.mookychick.co.uk/opinion/girlgeek/twilight-vampires.php
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI think you all need to take a chill pill.
ReplyDeleteWheatish: I see your point about accepting differing views from your own and I agree with you, but I think you're reading into Theo's tirade just a little too much. I think Theo was just venting about how he doesn't like the new concept (fiction?) that people are accepting as lore about vampires from these books b/c they've become so popular. The link he added for Mookychick actually explains what he dislikes about the Twilight books quite well, and without the outbursts of anger and name-calling. I appreciate that you are looking out for me (and others, you know who I mean) and care about my feelings and future (and you know what differences I'm concerned about), but I think you're just taking it all a little too personally. I don't think that people who read certain books for entertainment or see certain movies should fucking choke either, but I have also been known to go on tirades or bitch about stuff or say outlandish statements that I don't mean literally, as you well know. I can't even count how many times I've said "I hate people," but I don't actually HATE people, hate is a strong emotion. The only things I can say I truly hate are eggplant, cancer, and the dentist. And even when I say that, I don't actually hate Dr. Rothenberg, I just hate when he drills on my teeth. So everyone vents about one thing or another, or at one time or another. It's healthy. Granted, this was not all that serious of a subject to get so heated over, but apparently it was that irritating to Theo. You two are very important to me and my life, and I love you both, and I think this has gone on long enough.
Dropped. I'll just take the JD approach next time.
ReplyDelete