A Happy Christmahanukwanzaakah to all!

Well well, that time of year is here yet again. A time for some of joy and receipt. A time for others of sorrow and tax. Where the tides of the season find you, let it be know that this one bids you much happiness! It is a dear pleasure to know you!

My season has been a little weird. A good friend in the country, my first Christmas with a partner in a long while, and barely enough cash to stretch across all my friends for gifts. The main save-all for this season has been my blessed deal-a-day sites and Steam.

Let me digress for a paragraph. Steam has been the best thing to happen to gaming since Nvidia came out with SLI. A community where you can buy the games, connect automatically with friends in the same game, track your acheivements and all with a simple email address. Steam is what XBL wishes it could be. Steam offered literal fleets of sales for the holiday season. The gift of game will keep me consumed for many hours in the coming month.

A few hours with friends and family is enough to cure what ails you in most any case. My foot feels better, and I'm going to get my teeth taken care of sooner than later. There is a LOT of New Year time-off coming up, So I plan to have a a lot of fun and a lot of alchol.

Merry Holidays and Happy New Year!!!

-The0

Surgery! Good times!

I was recently hospitalized and released on account of a infection. Tiny little bacteria, all swarming around inside me, began to get hunger and eat up on my flesh. I have no idea how that got there, all I know is that few would be able to make it through the multiple shifts I had to endure simply to spend a couple days off of it. At the end of my couple of days off, when it started to look more like a bratwurst than a foot, I took a roundabout trip to the surgery wing of St. Lukes hospital, via route of family practice.

After a quick look from a bevy of aghast nurses, the surgeon walked in. He took a quick survey of the area, stabbed me a couple of times with a lidocain needle, and began to slice. This was astounding. It was a world-opening pain, the kind where you don't really even feel it anymore. Needless to say, I think this guy was something of a sadist.

I was hospitalized for about 4 days, dreading the next visit from the surgeon. Rough asshole. While I was laid out on a back breaking bed, one of the molars chipped horribly. This is a molar which supposedly was supposed to be removed when I was closer to 19. I'm beginning to see why. I was accompanied near the whole time by friends and the ever-dear Dr. Girlfriend. I saw a good few movies, watched enough TV, missed a lot of work, and learned that morphine doesn't really do much more than itch. The moral of the story is...

is...

I don't know. Fuck, that surgeon fucking sucks.

-The0

Treachery on the 7 Seas

Recently, through a very lucky set of conditions, I was able to obtain a version of Windows 7 Professional 64-bit. I am currently running Windows Vista Home Premium 32-bit, and I was actually pretty happy with it. But times, they change, and so must I. I wanted to have the 64-bit capability so that I could expand to more RAM, and be on the curve of 64-bit programming. What I learned may startle you.

YOU CAN'T JUST TRANSFER OVER 32-BIT FILES AND PROGRAMS TO A 64-BIT SYSTEM!!! Who knew?! Not this guy. So here I am, I have cloned my whole full hard drive to one twice its size. The end result I desired was to have a Windows.old folder on my bigger hard drive, not just on my old hard drive. This Windows.old folder would have all my old settings, all my old programs, even all my old music and libraries! I could simply copy and paste those all onto the same drive, and be done with my upgrade. I. Am Stupid.

I went ahead and tried to do most of this. About the only thing that wound out working was transferring my steamapps folder over to the new steam folder. With that setting the precedent, I decided to copy over every program file in it's like program file. Windows 7 64-bit has a special Program Files folder for 32-bit programs. Cramming files like I did messed up a LOT of things. I guess you could say it'd be like trying to cram a Neon onto a V8 engine, even if you get it to friggin' fit, how in the snot will you make it run? Not very well.

So I decided to try and go back and delete these files. This is the most annoying thing about Windows 7. Just because you put a file somewhere, or install a program, doesn't mean that 7 will let you remove it. It's not enough to be the Administrator. You need to have the permission of Trusted Installer. Who the hell is Trusted Installer, and when did he touch my PC?! This probably applies only to direct Windows features though. Still, quite confusing.

The best thing I wound up doing was formatting and starting from scratch. That works well. I'll be careful this time, and copy over My Documents one folder at a time. Then, fresh installs of all my old programs. The most convenient discovery so far is a site called Ninite. It's a site that allows you make one massive download of all the common applications you would want on a new PC or OS. Pretty nifty.

This is going to be a long voyage. All ashore who's going ashore!

-The0

Public Awareness

Radio Iodine. Have you heard of it? Not the radioiodine which is used in the treatment of thyroid cancer. The Radio Iodine that was an alternative band born in St. Louis. It was short lived, only pushed out one EP and one album. I recently came into possession of both of these collections after some rather avid hunting on Amazon, and I'm glad that I did.

Now, I would've been another member of the public not aware of this band had it not been for one weird thing. When my older brother went off to college, he left a good sum of his old clothes behind in his room, which henceforth became my room. I found a nice long sleeved black t-shirt in this room a couple of years after he left, which I started to wear around frequently. After a while I found that there was a weird crust-like collection of lines on the left sleeve. It took about 15 minutes to ascertain that this was no stain, but a logo for Radio Iodine. I thought my older brother hadn't listened to 30 minutes of alternative in his life, certainly not to my knowledge. I did the research then, found out what the hell this band was, and made it a goal to have their material.

That was about 4 years ago. Since, I finally found the CDs at a beyond reasonable price, and become a good fan of them. This is all despite the fact that they broke up in 1997. They have an alluring sound. Dirty yet smooth. Think Cranberries + Garbage + Megaherz = Radio Iodine. So I of course had to tell my older brother about this whole enterprise. The odd thing is that he had no idea how he came into possession of the shirt either. It was a total mystery to the both of us how that shirt came into our possession. Still, I had new music, and it was good.

Later that very day, my older brother had lunch with one of his old high school friends. They reminisced about the olden days, and somehow or another they came to the conversation of the first concert to which he dragged my brother. A small, simulated excerpt from that conversation:

'Wait, wait, I remember that now! Did a band called Radio Iodine have anything to do with that?"

"Yeah it did! I was really into them for a while!"

"Did you happened to have any merchandise from that show?"

"Yeah, I bought a shirt."

"My brother has that shirt now!"

My older brother told me about this conversation. I insist now that whether it was his or not, this shirt, through a semi-bizarre set of circumstances, has opened me to the small, short-lived story of a good St. Louis band. I like their stuff, it Audiosurfs very well, and it appeals well to any small party.

I'm keeping that shirt.

-The0

Ornithological Genocide

Thanksgiving has come and gone for another year. It's my Mom's Favorite holiday, and she desires the whole fmaily there on that day. It was a good day. It underlined the many things for which I am thankful. In no order whatsoever, here is an incomplete compendium.

• I am thankful to have my lovely Dr. Girlfriend in my life. She makes the whole fucking "Let's get to the grindstone" lifestyle more than worth it. After the dust settles at the end of the day, she's there, making everything better.
• I am thankful that somehow, in the middle of a wage freeze, my new boss saw fit to push for my raise, which went through. I think it is probably because the new kid they just hired was probably working for more money than me. Whatever. I feel less like an ant than I did before.
• I am thankful for all my friends who continue to show their support to me, and all they ask in return is that I be who I am. What wonderful fun!
• I am thankful for the fact that I, for the time being, have a metabolism that allows me to get away with eating anything I damn well please and not gain an ounce. (Side note: I don't work out enough)
• I am thankful for the fact that my computer can and does act as a space heater in what is certain to be a cold and expensive winter.
• I am thankful that my beloved Rammstein put out another album for us fans. Great stuff.
• I am thankful for the new album and new season of Dethklok and Metalocalypse. Brutal.
• I am thankful for Tim Schafer's Brütal Legend. It's always been this way in my mind, and now I can show others what I've been seeing when listening to the aforemention material.
• I am thankful for all the holiday sales that have made my holiday shopping that much easier on my budget.
• I am thankful of course for the entirity of my family. Who am I without all of you?
• I am thankful that my truck is still hauling ass when I need to do so.
• I am thankful that the band is getting back together.
• I am thankful for the Internet and all its wonders.
• I am thankful for Steam. Period.
• I am thankful for Firearms, Tobacco, and Alcohol.
• I am thankful that I can consider this post finished.

This was a little more arduous than it should have been. Eh. Still not complete. Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

-The0

Left 4 Dead 2: Electric Boogaloo

So, I have put in a good number of hours into the new Left 4 Dead, and I have a serious conclusion regarding its performance.

This game kicks ASS!!!

Now don't get me wrong, it can be damn annoying to try and get and get onto a car ferry and dying 3 times after a minute, and it can be much more difficult to simply reach the end zone, but VALVe has done a magnificent job of mixing things up and keeping a good idea fresh. With the new infected, you have to stay on your toes, and monitor your teammates a lot more. The level design is fantastic as well, and you never feel like you're simply running around in a system of arbitrary tubes.

My least favorite of the new infected is the Spitter. Here I am, I've just healed up, and we're progressing nicely, when all of a sudden I'm swimming in this green goo, and I'm losing health like I just fucked a lawnmower. It's almost as bad as startling a Witch, and it's especially bad when you're trying to get out of the goo and you're surrounded by zombies. I guess they're finally getting back at me for all those molotovs.

Of the levels, my new favorite is Hard Rain. For this level, you're running to get more fuel for an escape from your previous campaign. All these linear based maps actually link up, and it's very impressive how they segue into each other. Hard Rain isn't linear though. It's circular and dynamic! You have to run to the end, grab the fuel, and run back, only this time, the whole place is flooded from the rain. During the 4th chapter, the weather changes a lot, going from heavy rain to torrential flood. This summons the horde, and makes it impossible to hear your teammates. Awesome.

The characters are easily attached to as well. Of course, everyone went clamoring for the George Clooney-esque Nick character, and following my tradition, I tried to stick with a female character, Rochelle (I have my reasons.) Coach reminds me of Hank Hill in a weird way. My current favorite is Ellis. His ability to yammer on in a situation of extreme duress is a metaphor of how I think I interact with new people.

I usually get frustrated at new games, but this one is growing on me nicely. The replay value is astounding, and there are all these new game modes that I have yet to try. A great step forward for VALVe. That stated:

LET'S SEE SOME DAMN HALF-LIFE ALREADY!!! (please.)

-The0

It's not the Zombies that kill you...

So, like the rest of the Steam-nation, I am right now sitting here, waiting for Left 4 Dead 2 to release. I preloaded everything, it just needs to be told to "Go." A bit like me, actually. A little disappointing, but not unexpected. I'm certain it will be out before the sun comes up again.

And verily it is! A decryption ensues this sentence. Not to do a stream-of-consciousness post, but this is going to be exciting. I was going to shoot for a "Well isn't that the way it goes?" post, but now it looks like a pre-game excitement post in in order.

L4D2 is looking to be huge. New Special Infected, 5 campaigns out of the box, and new gameplay modes. This is going to be a nice long couple of days off. A review in my hackneyed style is going to be in the works, be assured.

And now, I have been made aware of a Woot-Off!!! I'm not sure if that should be capitalized or not, but it's a significant enough occurrence to break my train of thought. Maybe this time around, I'll be able to snag a couple of items, and stock some holiday gifts for friends.

The waiting is over. Now let's see if the zombies can kill me.

-The0

Impulse 101: Lessons in Self-Control

A thought occurred while I was supposed to be working tonight, one about which I've actually already thought. Access to cheat codes for games is far too easy. You look them up in the strategy guide, you find them on GameFAQs, and all of a sudden the game becomes a pointless delve into violence, a timesink. The difficulty, the fear, the thinking, it all vanishes. You know what it is to be like Dr. Manhattan.

Now granted, I spent the first half of my gaming life doing precisely that. When I got Quake installed on my first PC, I played for about 5 minutes before I decided to cheat and hack it. I was God in a brightly lit dungeon, with ammo being the farthest concern from my mind. In retrospect, this revolutionary game was slighted by my laziness and bloodlust. Game programmers put a LOT of work into making games challenging, and that challenge is what makes the game fun, not necessarily the slaughter. To just mindlessly kill things via cheats is to voluntarily vote against thinking, as far as I am concerned.

However, it somewhat begs the question, why even include the cheats in the first place? It's beyond me, but it's still very fun to play with them. To run amuck and just turn enemies into red paste is a grand stress reliever, and slightly less sociopathic than shooting real people. It's an escape to an alternate world anyway, why should I have to be bound by its rules too?

My final thought is, at what point should you consider using cheats? At what point is it fair to you and the game designers to start playing around? Where have you explored all that needs to be explored, and had time to enjoy and embrace all the subtleties of their work, their sold gift? I think it's either after you've played through the entire story on hard mode, or at least twice on regular. Then, feel free to hack, cheat, and rob the AI of their opportunity to make you feel weak and outsmart you.

4 days until L4D2, everyone! Happy gaming!

-The0

Wheat among the the Chaff

Or something.

It so happens that one of my best friends bought a rifle recently. But it wasn't just any rifle, not to me, not to him. He bought a Springfield M-1903 A1. After some serial number research, We found that it is roughly 98 years old. It's in excellent condition for a nearly century old weapon. Fantastic.

Now, for the reader's edification, I am a bit of a gun buff. I can figure out how to take apart most any firearm. I also spent 5 of the the most influential years of my life at a military school. It was a hell for me. This is the the very make of rifle with which I drilled at that academy. To touch it again brought on many memories.

I was a very confused, angry, ostracized individual back then. I was wierd, I was lovesick, I was violent, yet profoundly restrained. These things stayed bottled inside for a very long time, not many of them got out, well, ever. Bad times, then. Darkening times they were. I hate that place.

I used to work the armory at that school, repairing broken rifle stocks and replacing worn parts. Those were times where I found joy, to work on a finely made, though deactivated, piece of metal. I worked with my filthy hands and made each rifle I could get said hands on perfect as it could be, from the blade-style front sight to the butt plate. Those were the happy moments, that kept me sane. The S-type stock, tapering into the top sling collar, and the solid heft of it were all attributes I enjoyed. Needless to say, I put as many miniature modifications as I could onto my rifle. That was my drill rifle, and none were like it.

To hold one again was like meeting a long lost friend.

Congratulations Korenav!

-The0

Happy birthday to me!!

Yeah Buddy! I did it. I made it another year. I am 26 years old, and somehow I managed to do it without any major crap-ups.

I would like to thank everyone who wished me a happy birthday. Those of you who wrote on my Facebook wall will find that I thanked you all personally with a response wall post. I'm old school like that. I started on Facebook back when you needed a verified college email address to be on it. Your wall posts were kind of like how popular and well liked by your friends you are. So every wall shout was like someone thinking of you and actually saying hello, or Happy Birthday. It was like a step away from actually calling you up. So nowadays, people make a catch-all status remark like, "Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes!" Not me. I'll thank you all individually. It's the proper thing to do.

I got a veritable plethora of gifts from all those who were able to afford it, and let me say once again, it wasn't necessary, but thank you once again. All you mugs are great! And those that couldn't are actually just as thanked. It's great to simply hear from you all and to know that I'm loved.

My warranty on me isn't void yet, so let's get another year in. Thank you all!!!

-The0

More like LAME Moon

I don't know how to preface this, so I'll just out with it.

I. HATE. Twilight.

I hate it. I hate that through the adoration of prepubescent "tweens" Vampires have gone from horrible wraiths of bloodlust and deception, paragon disciples of Vlad the Impaler, terrors of the night to lousy, brooding pretty boys with perfect hair, who only want to be loved and understood. Instead of bursting into flames in the sunlight, they sparkle?! Like someone sprinkled them with glitter. They sparkle like a beautiful, metro sexual, candyass fashion model. OH MY GOD HAND ME A TOWEL BECAUSE I'M SOAKING WET!!! You girls who helped to make this story a bestseller can all fucking choke.

And heaven forbid some form of brutality should remain in these Ken-dolls-in-halloween-costumes. No! They don't even feed off of humans. They feel that's Wrong. They drink animal blood. That's bullshit. Vampires are immortal. What do they care if something is ostensibly wrong? (Side note: I am a proud carnivore. Bite me [you are what you eat, eat a human, be a human]). Seriously, I am pissed that this movie/story has utterly removed the edge of Vampires and turned them into us. They might as well just be the Backstreet Boys or something.

Where's the line anymore? Is every legend going to be pissed upon and stripped down to it's most potentially appealing factor? Vampires used to be the ultimate predators, and then that turned into sexual predator/physical predator, to intellectual predator. Then it was sexual predator. Still kind of awesome, but now, they're just sex symbols. Lame, glittery boy toys. Who thought of this nonsense?

Stephanie Meyer ruined everything cool about vampires, and turned them straight from dark lords to masturbatory aids. Fuck You, Stephanie. Fuck You, Edward Cullen. Fuck You, Bella. Fuck You, Summit Entertainment, And Fuck You, Moviegoers. I hope New Moon burns your eyes out of your sockets.

-The0

Love Is For Everyone

Wer wartet mit Besonnenheit
der wird belohnt zur rechten Zeit
Nun, das Warten hat ein Ende
Leiht euer Ohr einer Legende

~Rammstein, Rammleid

They're back, ladies and gentlemen, and though this first verse off their latest album is self-aggrandizing, for this fan, it's true. The wait is over today, and the legend returns.

At first listen, it seems unrecognizable, yet familiar. Some say that Rammstein has joined the mainstream and started to simply make homogeneous metal. I would say that this is not the case, as they still have every element that made me like them from every album previous. Massive sound, heavy distortion of very melodic patterns, driving songs (mostly, more on that later), and above it all, Till Lindemann's grinding and operatic vocals.

Most of the songs from this album have a clearly recognized melody, but others are much harder, literally and musically. Yet, if you sit through long enough, listen to the lyrics (do some translating while you're at it) you'll find yourself on a beautiful, embracing bridge or chorus. It's true of almost every song they've put out. Which brings me to the the next point of happiness for me.

In previous albums, occasionally Rammstein will make a song referencing some horrible act of society or person, be it real or fictional. The last one on Rosenrot was about a guy who was cheered into jumping off of a bridge (which strangely doesn't need an exact reference. It seems to happen every once in a while). This time, it's Wiener Blut (Viennese Blood), a creepy, frightening recounting of the recent Fritzl case. No real melody here, just guitars, synths, and a psychopathic German man telling you an emotional ghost story.

The title track Liebe ist für Alle Da is a more worldly sound for metal. Translated it means "Love is for Everyone." A hammering song, it still has the aforementioned melody somewhere in there. The main reason I bring this up is because with Rammstein, and on this album especially, nothing is as simple as it sounds. They flip around common German idioms, make divine cultural references behind your back, and trick you into thinking you're going to be in one mood, but put you in another. Further explanation will require you to listen to the song first.

And on that note, the dark tone of this album is occasionally put to the side. The extended edition of this release has roughly 4 ballads on it. It's a little maddening, but on the whole, well, I do enjoy falling sleeping to metal. I never knew Till Lindemann could sing such lovely French. A couple of these songs are of the special (read: slightly saddening) kind where the song is exactly the same, but the lyrics are different. Oh well. You only get to enjoy that if you bought the extended edition.

In summation, Ramming Stone's latest album is a very welcome and long overdue addition to my Rammstein library. Not every song appealed at first listen, but many of them grew on me very quickly. Songs to buy this album for are Ich Tut Dir Weh, Haifisch, Pussy, and if they're your taste, Rammlied and B********. Songs that will quickly grow on you are Liebe ist für Alle Da, Waidmann's Heil, and Frühling in Paris (again, if it's your style.) This isn't their greatest album, but it's good, and well worth my purchase.

SEO Purposes: My fellow fans and pattern-watchers may appreciate this: 916139, 9 1 6 1 3 9, Rammstein.

Questions, Comments? Please feel free to comment, and leave questions!

Rock On!!!!

-The0

A Credit List

They say that if you wind up with 3 good friends in life, you've lived remarkably well. I have lived a life of total luxury if that's the case.

Walter: Thank you for being there to help me through schoolwork, bike stunts, bad ideas, and good times.

Ben: Your pennywise sense has rubbed off on me finally. I'm glad you made me do your laundry back in college.

Craig: My first friend, your life is a veritable tome of accomplishments. Every time we speak, I feel like a kid again.

Matt: If there is a man more baddass and intense on a daily basis, I don't think he'd really compare to you.

Evan: Technology makes sense because of you. You make me feel dumb in a learning way.

Kurt: Music has never been more enjoyable. My instrument sounds great because of you.

Dré: You turned me from a brooding sociopathic boy to a semi-socially savvy man. You put me onto the path I am on today.

Adam: I finally enjoy being behind a computer again, like I did in high school.

Webb: I am of the strong opinion that everyone needs a mad scientist for a friend.

Renny: You help me deal with everyday. You help me feed my addiction, and keep me sane.

Andy: Every time I hear from you is a total joy. I love just talking about what's going on with you.

Gigi: You're the best of the kin, and you make me swell with pride everyday.

Mom: You help me deal with life crises. You keep me well furnished, and you keep me going with my grind.

Dad: My ultimate role model. If I wind up half the man you are, I've done very well.

Dr. Girlfriend: You make me want to be the best man I can.

Edits to follow, as I think of more things to say about the best people in my life.

-The0

Open Doors, Closed Windows.

So much for a clever title.

I have significant confusion regarding the Windows 7 release on the horizon. I can't figure out the exact differences between Windows 7 and my current, not-hated Vista. Apparently, it's just like Vista, a couple features removed, and a bit of a streamlining.

Personally, I have never purchased an operating system in box or off a shelf. I always buy it new with the machine. Even if I did have the will, want, or cash to buy it new-in-box, I think I would always wait until the first service pack comes out. You know, let them get all the kinks out, let the drivers get developed, etc.

The interesting conundrum is that new PCs bought within a certain time frame, get a free upgrade to Windows 7 from Vista. Will there be driver issues? Will profiles be lost? Knowing Microsoft and the negative attention they tend to garner, they may very well half-ass the upgrade release, and have inadequate support too. But then again, it may be baddass.

Dr. Girlfriend happens to be eligible for this upgrade, and it's her choice whether she's going to or not is up to her. But the fact that Windows 7 is supposedly going to be less resource-intensive, it's probably a good idea for high-end laptop owners.

So while this is a very cool thing for Microsoft to do, especially in the wake of Vista's "problems" and remembering Windows ME, I would proceed with caution. Lots of forum reading on the horizon.

Thoughts anyone?

-The0

Liebe ist für Alle Da

As my closer friends and relations no doubt know, I am a HUGE Rammstein fan. I'm not the biggest fan in the world, but they are hands-down my favorite band in the world (though some others do come as close seconds.) The thing is, it's been several years since they've last been in the studio, ever since they worked on Rosenrot. They have a new album, and it comes out very soon. As such, they have started marketing the singles and such that have been selected off the new album, Liebe ist für Alle Da. This post is to review their latest video, to attempt to divine what the band wanted to portray to us, and to compare it to their best videos of albums past. A review of Pussy.

First off, the video (WARNING: EXPLICIT, GRAPHIC, ADULT-ORIENTED CONTENT!!!!!!!)

This video is either Rammstein's greatest or worst video. Speaking from a mature adult standpoint, It's pure porn. It's a very shallow story, comparing to earlier videos like Du Riescht So Gut and even later ones, like Benzin and Rosenrot. Rammstein has had a talent of putting together very compelling stories in their videos, ones which usually match the song nicely, but this simply pales. The lyrics also disappoint, as Till Lindemann is an accomplished poet, but as far as this song is concerned, even I've written better. As a Rammstein enthusiast, this is not their best representation.

As a sex-addled post-teenager still in love with the industrial genre and all things German, this is outstanding. The heavy use of English to speak to a wider, sex-addicted audience is a good demographic move. Their show their nationality brusquely, with smatterings of definitively German-branded words and concepts. It also speaks to their shocking side. Truly shocking, and not a moment too soon. With their rumored retirement on the horizon, I think they are probably just doing their best to go out on a literal bang. I am still in love with the driving, ass-pounding song, and you'll find me humming it at work sometimes. I have been starving for more material from them since they released Rosenrot 4 years ago. Bravo! Gimme fucking more!

Rammstein has always been known for their brutality, depravity, and stage presence. They have a provocative method of framing the very worst humanity has to offer. But what are they framing this time? Simply fucking? Does it all boil down to just fucking? I suppose in the loosest sense, it really does. They had the presence of mind to acknolewdge most of the settings in which porn stars, well, star. It isn't ironic, but definitely pulls some point. It just has to. Please?

How about:

Anyone can do a porn, Rammstein is pulling out, and at the end of the day, all we want to do is fuck.

-The0

Edit: 03/05/2010

Because of the release of the newest Rammstein video, the old link now goes to that. This link here seems the least infectable site for the whole, uncensored video. As a rule still, turn on your anti-virus, and again, make sure you're not at work.

Edit: 03/19/2010

Disregard. Fixed it again. Still NFSW.

The Usual, Please

Tonight was weird. I spent all day recovering from last night and grocery shopping with a friend, and then when I get home, I notice my beer tastes a little warm. My refrigerator is busted. I noticed this at 7, well before a shift end for the emergency maintenance crew. No one returned a call, no one came. That's just sad. I have food spoiling in an ice-laden chill chest, and the maintenance crew, the management, and everyone in the group to whom I pay my rent are going to drag their feet.

Now this is only a gripe, but goddamn, if I have to pay out the ass for rent and work said ass off just to earn the money, why can't I get someone who is paid to be on call, to come fix this? Nonsense!

If all this food goes bad, I'm dumping it in their office...

-The0

Lucky Birthday!!!

Today is apparently Google's 11th Birthday! A joyous day indeed! Another annual celebration for a company which whose motto is "Don't be evil."Good day. It's a little poignant for me, because 11 happens to be my lucky number for some reason which I have long buried but quite vividly remember. Also, I depend on Google to bring me most of my news, knowledge, and general fact-seeking in this lifetime, so I'm very happy for them.

Today is also my final day of work before I finally get to enjoy another day off. While I'm happy for the overtime, I've been working my ass ragged and all the while, been watching others work themselves 10 hours more ragged. Is that an actually a measure of job skill? Or job trust? Or am I simply going more crazy? The money will barely stretch itself to the next paycheck. Through Passion I gain Strength, and I feel horridly weak right now. Thank goodness for alcohol.

Today, It ends. Girls and Boys, be prepared for a very pessimistic, hateful, irreverent,lewd, cynical and tired weblogger in the coming post(s).

-The0

Like eHarmony

Always, always always always, Always always always check the compatibility of components before you ever install them.

I still feel like I am a relatively smart person, but it's been just over 2 years since I last learned this lesson, and I've killed another computer. Happily, I decided to buy my Cassima before I did this, upon which I write now. I bought a new Intel Q9550 processor, like I've always wanted to, and promptly murdered my giant gaming rig the instant I installed it.

After further testing, it now seems that the chip itself is busted (may have been a DOA) but still, I've been planning this upgrade ever since I bought the main box. It's taken like, 3 months to save to afford this thing. I may have stepped on a couple of toes, and potentially have stressed friendships to get this thing. Now my motherboard is fried. There's a lesson in this somewhere.

But I still have friends. A couple of dear brothers feel that this is kind of unfair, and despite my own ignorance, they're willing to chip in and help me get a new motherboard. One of them has even declared that he forbids me from getting anything that isn't an upgrade. God bless you all. Or Good Fortune! Or whatever you happen to believe in. Thank you!

Check for EVERY level of compatibility, anytime you make an upgrade. My rig's symptoms are available upon request. And now, time to file an RMA (here's hoping.)

-The0

Nein, Es ist Gut!!!

So I saw 9 with the Dr. Girlfriend, and I have to say, it was worth the cash in my opinion. There was a lot of hype, and while it pays off on most of it, I suppose I was looking for a little bit more out of it.

The movie was a quick show, at about 75 minutes. Nearly the whole thing is action, and well played at that. There was just enough exposition to keep you quiet during the film, and the colors kept my 2-year-old attention span spellbound the entire time.

I really enjoyed the environment they created for this movie as well. It had an air of World War II America, with '40's styled cars and white picket fences. Granted, everyone's dead, but I very much felt like it was Nightmare on Tranquility Lane.

Something I was looking for was a bit more of a character from Crispin Glover. Granted, he usually plays an odd character, but it was hard to build when few of his lines consisted of more than 20 words. I liked him in BTTF, of course, and he was astounding in Willard. I just wish we could've gotten more than just 6-is-our-resident-freakshow.

Lastly, a cool theme was the implied Science versus Spirituality battle. Although, I am beginning to get sick of the idea that the instant humanity finally develops AI, we're fucked. And to the other end of that argument, I know for a fact I don't want to run around as a sock puppet after the Armageddon.

Go see 9. In the theaters. It's worth the price of your ticket, I promise.

-The0

Intelligent Design

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like you are getting progressively more stupid? I think I have been having more and more of those lately. It's not much of a comfort, but apparently, there are different types of intelligent, and I believe I just need to find the one that fits me best. In the meantime, damn, do I feel dumb.

I know I said this was a work in progress, but honestly, I didn't have much else to say. I had an awesome idea that I would love to make come to fruition, putting off the robots for a while. It's good metal work practice though, so pictures to come if I can get it together. Secret-ish Project! Oooh!

I finally have a Java book headed my way, so we'll see if that fits my intelligence style. Joy!

Off to sleep!

-Theo

Vexing

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-The0

Alien Apartheid

I saw District 9 recently, and I feel like I have to put my stink of opinions on the Internet. This is one of the better movies of the year. Let me expand into the themes I noticed.

The aliens decided to come to a stop over South Africa, which already has a history of intolerance on par with that of the US before its civil rights movements. The film cleverly defused the "first contact" glitz by making it so that the aliens had to depend on humans for survival. In a militarized slum, we see echoes of concentration camps, Warsaw ghettos, and recent disaster relief efforts.

Aliens quickly become second class citizens, addicts to high cholesterol puréed meat products and scarcely capable of producing in our world economy. Much intolerance brews. A desk worker who has a job essentially keeping aliens down has to interact directly with them. A moral is learned through this man later in the film. I've spoiled enough there.

One of the key trends in popular media lately seems to be demonizing corporations. District 9 did not disappoint those looking for such a trend. MNU (the company for which the aforementioned character works) has programs in alien weapons research. It is here that we see the only example of real percieved value in this great extraterrestrial contact.

What I'm getting at is that I think D9 really underlined what our human nature can be at its worst. Here is an example of something that doesn't even come from our planet, and we took the opportunity to chain down the potential new alpha species, and try to get their bigger, pointy-er sticks. We took non-humans, made them sub-human, and despite having accomplished the feat of intergalactic travel (as a species,) all we wanted to do was get their weapons to work for us. Is this what really motivates us humans? Dominance? Greed? History seems to say yes.

On a side note, exactly what kind of ship was this? I like to think that this giant ship was some sort of scout ship, one of many the aliens sent through the galaxy. Maybe even a a colonization ship, which would've put just as much desire for domination on their egos. Interesting to ponder, that's for true.

SPOILER WARNING!!! This post contains some spoilers.

-The0

Cupcake Games #1

After an insane writing hiatus, I return, with insight into several lovely little games.

Darwinia: Adorable real time strategy. Lead little AIs to recapture their (virtual) homeland from the virus which they discovered when they became too curious. On that note, our own malicious software may be our salvation when computers and robots attempt to take over the world. A good strategy that works with almost every level is: Build a massive army, and overrun the enemy. They meow with delight, and you have fun. Joy.

Audiosurf: Make a racetrack of that song during which you always get pulled over. Collect blocks for points! Get a global high score! Get angry when your friends beat that high score! Seriously though, this game is great. I have a good amount of driving music, and now I'm experiencing favorites in a whole new way. It's a good game when you've logged 25 hours into it after only having it for 11 days. You can get in a quick song before work, or unwind with slow songs afterwards. Seal of Approval.

Gish: Life as a 12 lb. ball of tar. Save your kidnapped owner. Use the sludgy properties of tar to navigate the levels. Sadly, enemies seem invincible, which is one step away from the unforgivable sin of infinitely spawning enemies. Still, it's kind of cute, and the Flash-y physics make it fun to watch.

World of Goo: Impermanence in a permanent world. It seems the idea of this is to build (semi-) rigid structures with little stretchy, ductile goo balls. Reach a point, and your score is how many goo balls you have left over. I haven't done too much of this game, but it seems fun.

Braid: Time-travel Mario. Fuck this Game! I have been pulling my hair out trying to figure out this stupid puzzle nonsense, and I'm not even halfway through the game. While this is normally very indicative of a "good" game, I do NOT like being made to feel stupid. And while I'm on the tear, I might as well commit blasphemy. I hate Mario Bros. It was annoying, nothing but frustrating, hand cramping repetition. Braid is more of the same, only now I can rewind and watch it fail all over again. On a positive note, the story is very nice.

End Review Mini-Series #1. Cupcake Games: When you simply don't have the appetite for a whole freaking tiramisu.

-The0

WIP-Lash

I have been meaning to make a new post for a good few days now, but I always am so damn busy and tired lately. After a small musings post, I plan to do another arts review post. After sleep and work, of course.

* * *

And we're back! I broke down and bought the most recent Steam weekend deal. A bunch of games are cheaply available, 10 indie games in total. I had just a bit of cash laying about in various depots, so I deposited that and bought it. I am absolutely glad I did. 2 minutes into Audiosurf, I was giggling with what fun it was. Have you ever driven quickly on the highway to a song you really love? In Audiosurf, you get points for it. I'm very happy with this purchase. More mini-reviews to come, be assured.

I feel like have been working my fucking ass off at my job. Don't you just hate fate when you have a day off, and then, because of the laziness, negligence, or otherwise unfortunate actions of a coworker, you end up getting called into work what he or she would normally work? C'est la vie, of course, but hot damn, is it frustrating. It's fine though, I worked my entire last shift on straight overtime. Yay, bills.

I think it actually is effective to use the little gadgets which Vista makes available to track my account balance. I have a "post-it" with a running transaction log, and my current (underestimated) balance. This ought to help with those overdraft fees, I suspect.

The thought occured that there is great injustice with the coincidence that many leaders are simply filthing assholes. I know a couple of managers and upper managers that artlessly make it a point to get angry or just yell and shout to get what they want done, done. It's the same thing I was talking about before, really. Courtesy is out the window, and there is no hope for revision in the future, I fear. Oh well, humanity has earned its place among the fucked, I think.

Enough of this. Dr. Girlfriend and I recently watched Coraline, and I plan to review that tomorrow.

-The0

Monthly Report 1

It would seem that the month has come to a close again. A small monthly update is in store.

I hate banks, and the exorbanant fees they need to stay afloat.

I was hired on full time at my job.

I have decided, upon the advice of many friends, to start small in the robot business. A two servo quadruped sometimes called a "Laufbot" should be fun and cheap.

The money barely flows enough to supply the rum and whiskey. But! It flows!

Dr. Girlfriend had her birthday last week. Happy Birthday!

That is all.

-The0

Et Tu, Woot-é?

Well, another half-assed Woot-off has occurred. I am a huge fan of Woot.com, and even though it preys upon my impulsive buying habits, I'm never sad for the things I buy.

Woot-offs are a happy time for me usually. The deal-a-day system is pumped onto steroids, and it becomes a "deal-until-we-run-out-of-crap-and-then-it's-a-new-deal" system. Eventually they might throw on the revered "Bag of Crap" for a dollar. That's kind of like a lottery ticket. You could get a European power adaptor, or you could get an LCD TV. Who knows?! At a dollar, who can afford NOT to know?!

Not so this time around. I had gotten into a comfortable pattern of 48 hour woot-offs, and then they pull this. 24 hours, half of which I had to spent at work (which has been very consistent, by the way. I never get to enjoy a full woot-off, because I'm too busy making the money I would otherwise spend) and no bag of crap. Though not promised, I should like to at least SEE one.

Oh well. Maybe they'll run another one in a couple of months.

-The0

One Step Forward

In regards to the previous post, I have settled on a leg/body design for my little robot "thought exercise," (since to be considered a project, you need to actually pump some effort, thought, and money into it.) Don't get me wrong, I REALLY want a pet that I don't have to feed, fear, or actually put any effort into, but the raw cost alone will be a while of saving up, and even after that, I have to put a lot of hours into learning how to make it function.

At any rate, I know which style of legs and body I wish to implement. I have decided to let go of the hamsterball idea, because I theorize that the spherical balance process will eat to much processing power to move as well. It's kind of like a Pogo-robo, I think. One point of contact with the ground, and all 5 pounds of weight precariously balanced above it. I can't expect myself to write a logarithm to balance and move. I can barely remember my trigonometry! Any thoughts or logic against this decision would be lovingly accepted and possibly implemented.

I was browsing the internet, looking for "How to build a robot" resources, when I came across a company called Lynxmotion. They are the only people I have come across so far that offer an Erector set of servos. You can't just use motors, you know. You need a motor that can go on command and stop when you need it to do so. Automatically. Anyway, Lynxmotion's hexapod sets are beautiful and pretty much exactly what I am thinking about now. You mount a Eee PC on top of it and pray for the programming sense to make it a little autonomus, and off you go! Robopet!

On an actual thought progress note, I had an idea for an add-on to the robot idea using computer science that I actually understand. Making a robot play fetch. Half-Life 2 made an NPC do it in game, why couldn't we do the same with a physical being?

Factors in mind are:

• Item recognition (easily embraced with specific colors and good lighting)
• Item tracking (stereo cameras and blotch tracking)
• Item retrieval (a grabbing mechanism)
• Item return (simply making a log of movements and performing them in reverse should do it, I think)

What I understand about electric cameras is that codecs work mostly on recording changing colors. I saw a video of a a paintball sentry gun that worked mostly on that principle. It would track, center on, and fire upon the largest moving splotch in the still image. It should be feasible to use this to find a moving splotch of specific color, and then, well, march toward it. Grabbing would be hard to program, and I still don't know jack about programming. I can turn a wrench and read though. Let's see where that gets me. Motivational video. It would seem a powerful processor isn't necessary for the motion. Maybe for the thinking, tracking, and fetching though. I don't know, this is all way too cool. To quote Freeman's Mind, "Robots are the only friends I need!"

On a related note: XKCD though it may be, this project could take me YEARS!

Sorry for the random spattering of words here. I've been thinking way too much about this. Hope you all are well.

-The0

In Too Deep

So I have decided that a fun, educational hobby would be to turn out a roving robot from my Eee PC Cassima (Yes, I name my possessions and toys. I'm not sorry.) I've been surfing Google results for about 10 minutes now, and it saddens me that I'm already in over my head. To make an obstacle-avoiding self-controlled robot (pet) has more factors than I thought it would.

• Camera Latency
• Image processing (identification of obstacles, or even a path)
• Machinery Control
• Balance
• Power Source
• Body Design
• How to feel Love
• And Much More!

The ONLY robotics experience I have is from when I played around with Lego LOGO back in 3rd-6th grade, and everything has taken leaps and bounds since then. I have no idea how to code, and I don't know but the first thing about how computer imaging works. I do think I could build a steady, stable sextpedal robot body, which would move slowly enough to be able to survey it's surroundings before it's next step or turn. The problem thereof, of course, is programmed control of those sets of legs or each leg (I haven't decided yet.)

I have so much to learn it almost edges on hopelessness. But! It breaks my current funk, and if nothing else, if I can pull this off, it's a whole new world of techno-savvy into which I can finally sink my teeth. Robots, man, robots.

Time to crack open the internet. Let's see what I can find.

-The0

Apologies shorted

Have you ever had one of those days where everything seems to go pretty well? Then, relatively unexpectedly, one event throws not only the whole day, but your entire perception of self-worth in shambles?

I haven't had many of those, I've always had some kind of fallback or reserved skill that I could bring to the party, and make myself feel better. Not so true now. I had a big one of those days this evening. I've thought about this tonight, a lot, had a good long ride, had some rich-white-kid-no-real-problems thinking time, and realized something. I don't think I'm all I'm cracked up to be. I'm not a baddass, and I'm not really going anywhere very fast. I'm certainly not very honest with myself. Which brings up another point.

This whole avalanche was instigated by some long hidden honesty. Damaging, hurtful thing. I've been a good liar for a long part of my life. Lost a few friends in high school because of it. Ruined a good couple relationships because of it too. Honesty is something that needs to be out in the open from the very beginning, so that if it is hurtful, it doesn't hurt as much. Of course, everybody else my age already fucking knows this. What the hell?

What the hell man?

I'd try self improvement, but to what end? To get better at my job which some younger asshole can probably do better than me anyway? Being a jack-of-all-trades and a master of none is actually kind of a raw deal. No jobs or careers for jacksmen. My confidence is really at an all time low. I'm not really seeing a point, and yet, all I can think to do is sit here, drink, and bitch. Yay! I've become a lazy drama queen.

Fuck This. Don't comment.

-The0

The Butterfly Effect

The idea behind this title is to bring into mind the concept that one little variable can have a profound effect on an environment and it's resultant tangents. I mean this in an ironic sense.

One of my biggest peeves is people. One of the things I hate about people, are the ones who find it totally irresistible to talk about themselves. The ones who can't stand to have any one's ears not tuned to his or her own story. Be it their source of emotional pain, or a string of events that details their personal grandeur, I cannot tolerate it. A note to those like that: You aren't that important. Your variable is negligible at best.

I remember having the displeasure of enduring extended, repeated contact with one such individual. He was an emo, and half of his act was to find some way to make his "emotional pain" apparent or at least come to attention in almost every situation. He also always found a way to make every conversation involve him somehow. His opinions were never far from hand either. "I think that...", "When I do that, I...", "My heart was broken when..." He couldn't keep from talking and smearing himself all over everything.

Now some of this may stem from jealousy, at his ability to capture people's attention. After all, we all want to talk about ourselves, and I started a damn weblog just to talk about my thoughts. After all, I'm being a hypocrite just sitting here and ranting. But in reality, this is why I try not to speak about myself in any situation. This poster tries to avoid words like "I" and Me" in conversation. Ask about the other person in the dialogue. Let them be the center of the attention, the chief of the limelight. Let's be whistleblowers on horn-tooting!

If you can only do one thing, just shut the fuck up.

I'm sorry. I'll be quiet now.

-The0

History...history...history...history

So in the middle of healing up a self-inflicted wound, I was invited out to a psychobilly show. Psychobilly is a genre which really isn't in my current vein, but for the night that I had on the 19th, it very well could earn a slot. What follows is a short story.

I limp to my vehicle after visiting a friend, and make my way over to the corner of Cardinal and Locust, which was not a familiar route. I wound up parking about 5 blocks away, and started hobbling over to the club. As I tottered on, I was thinking, "Do I really know this person well enough to go through all this effort? I'm not even a big fan of the style of music." I met the boyo in the midst of a chase that wound out being nothing more than the basis for my manifesto. His friendship is arguably the best thing I got out of the experience.

I'm halfway to the destination when a little sprinkle begins. I've spent enough time in the great outdoors to know when weather is going to go from bad to worse. I run as fast as I can get my busted ass to run to the nearest shelter, which turned out to be the steeple doorway of the St. Francis Xavier College Church. As the drizzle turned to deluge, I found myself thankful for religion again, if only for environmental purposes. I haven't felt that way in a while. Funny the way things work.

While I have spent enough time outdoors to recognize when weather will get bad, I have not, apparently, spent enough time to know when the weather has actually come to the end of it's yarn. The monsoon slowed, and whereas the show was about to start, I had to get moving. I ventured out, and no sooner had 30 seconds passed than it started to pour again. So, here I am, drenched in a matter of seconds, broke, and pretty well lost. But! Detirmined still to reach my goal. (On a side note, if you ever find yourself walking home in the rain, and have nothing else to do with your day, just let it soak you. It feels wonderful.)

I stopped for a quick breather from the rain in a parking garage not far from the bar to which I was heading. I recognized it a few minutes later. It was the garage I had parked in the LAST time I saw this particalur friend. After wringing out my shirt, I asked directions to the bar. The rain stopped. Had I waited 5 more minutes at the church, I would have been perfectly dry. I shouted out, as was my wont, and trudged on.

I did finally make it to the venue, and even talked my way out of the cover. I met my friend, who loaded me down with free swag, to include a dry shirt. I met his friends, and I got to brag about my wound a little. While this meant no moshing during the show, I was still able to enjoy it.

The title of this rant comes from a strange occurance that happened in college. I went to go see Flogging Molly for the first time ever, and was actually pulled up on stage by one of their opening acts, Throw Rag. I was made to play washboard in front of a packed Blue Note. Back to the present. Near the end of the show, my friend (whom I have neglected to mention was now a part of the band,) pulled me up on stage and shoved a washboard in my hands. A packed bar, all moshing to part of my rhythm. It was exhilarating. I didn't pop any stitches, I had a fun time, and I became a little famous again.

I guess the point of this little story is that if you feel like you're going through a harrowing time for next to nothing, stick to it. You might end up having a lot of fun, or at least be a harder person for it. Have fun with life, and try new things.

The Goddamn Gallows Myspace.

-The0

A Study in Hypocrisy

This is a long-ago post that I have decided is just barely worth fleshing out. It is more fully explored in a later post, but honestly, I'm sick of hearing people tell their own life story. Seriously, I don't want to hear it, I want interest expressed in me. That's why I started a damn weblog.

This entire post looks to have been drafted at a time where I was just coming to terms with who I have to work with. I was angry and jealous of the ability of another new hire, and we were both vying for the same job. Turns out we both got hired, and we have since become good, friendly co-workers. As of this out-fleshing, he is farther advanced in the career, but to be fair, he is better at what he does than I am at what I do.

All in all, anger at the time subsided, and this draft is fucking done with. Finished 08/30/2010.

-The0

Occupational Safety Hazards.

I am an Idiot. Through lack of foresight, ignorance of good rules, and a general air of supposed invincibility, I got a personal "first" out of the way.

I got stabbed in the hip. 1.5 inches deep, 1 inch long. 6 stitches. I was dismissed early from work, and they foot the medical bill. After a jocular time with my nurses and doctors, I went home to suffer the aftermath of destroyed subcutaneous tissue and light muscle damage. 6 on the 1 to 10 pain scale.

I have been stabbed. There are hazards to every job, and I think I encountered the biggest hazard of my job.

Myself.

-The0

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Well, due to the recent improvements in my job situation, I was finally able to afford something have wanted for a while now. Readers of this weblog will recall a post about how I somehow managed to resurrect a 9 year old laptop. Unfortunately, its little hard drive was just about as old. It has since crashed, and left me without mobile word processing again. Thus, I was in the position to purchase a new laptop. The Asus Eee PC 901 XP (because I still like Windows.)

A small review. The 901 has more than enough power to multitask. I can run Steam, Trillian, Chrome and voicechat and still not start to lag overly much. It has a pretty nice webcam, so if I ever get around to trying out Skype, that will be fun. If you're considering, get a RAM upgrade. It helps with that. Half-Life runs at a comfortable 70 fps, and that makes it easy to LAN a Sven co-op, and enjoy other moderate gaming applications. I haven't tried HL2 yet, but that seems well off in the distance anyway. I may even attempt that Eee PC hamsterball robot idea. Thank you, Randall Munroe. At 1.6 ghz, it runs all that I need it to, and again, I'm finally typing outdoors and in comfortable places again.

On that key-note, typing is actually a little difficult on this little powerhouse. The keyboard is very small, and my massive hands are having something of a tough time getting used to how minute these keys are. Still, for just under $300 all told, having an ultraportable latptop is very nice. Chic and sleek, and I finally have something to throw at the TV everytime that ridiculous Verizon/HP commercial comes on.

Bricks.

-The0

What Kind of Facebook user are You?

Your Result Is: Infuriated.

Seriously, I have had enough of all these little "What Disney princess are you?" or "What is your Inner self type?" quizzes on Facebook. These quiz results get sent to my "Recent Activity" page from people that are on my friends list. I have no idea whether these come from some stupid app on Facebook, or are just spam, but either way, they have GOT to fucking stop.

I remember a little application craze a couple of years back. They'd let you have a little fun or play a little game, and then it asked you to pass on an invite to 20 of your friends. I stopped there, except for Jedi vs. Sith (On a side note: join our quest to rule the galaxy! The Jedi shall be crushed!) I think we're getting into something much worse now. You can't just ignore quizzes en masse, they will plague you continually, because each new quiz is it's own blockable entity.

Now granted, I'm primarily using Facebook as a replacement for any social life, living vicariously through my friends photos and events, but I also use it to advertise for the band and keep track of my friends birthdays, so that I look like that sweet guy that had the presence of heart to keep track of one buddy's birthday. Anytime I have a notification, I feel as loved as I do when I get a text message. But Facebook is, for all intents and purposes, a social NETWORKING site. Not a fucking slumber party. I've asked friends nicely to please quit with the quizzes. It hasn't worked. I'm thinking I may need to do the next big Facebook trend. Trimming down my friends list. Jerks.

Computer Culture Note: Miscrosoft's Bing launched. I like Google better. Still.

-The0

Half-Life 2, An exospective retrospect

As far as games are concerned in my eyes, Half-Life 2 redefined the way we play. Hell, games are designed differently simply because of the innovations set forth in Half-Life, and Half-Life 2 did more to "raise the bar" than any game sequel to date. If I may rant...

Simply in terms of engine advancement, quality jumped. Renderings were as close to photo-realistic as we had seen to date, even with Doom 3 being on the shelves. The fact that you could pick items up and force them to interact physically with other items in the world provided hours of distracting (and then useful) entertainment. Throwing a can at the metrocops turned out to be as much fun as being submissive and throwing it away like they had demanded. This is so mesmerizing that you nearly forget to notice the world into which you have suddenly been forced.

When last we left our hero, he was sweltering through Black Mesa, NM and then some creepy world called Xen. Now, he's in war-worn Eastern Europe, presumably again "working" for the ever-mysterious G-Man. You fight through cordoned city streets, filthy barnacle-laden sewers, along septic routes and dams, and even a zombie infested old mining town. Additionally you get to drive to your location in some parts, which brings up an important clue if you're a good critical thinker. You're driving along the coast, checking out piers and docks that are a good ten to twenty feet above above the surface of the water. I didn't notice it at first, but then I thought about how the hell anyone is going to get in or out of a boat which is floating 20 feet below them? It begs some thought.

The fact that I didn't have to stop and think about it was actually a property of the new game play "feel." I guess that due to the fact that computing resources were less limited (or something, I realize how flawed that statement is), the developers were able to cram more stuff into maps. It wasn't an obligation to explore every little nook and/or cranny. Along Highway 17, you hardly had to stop for anything you couldn't drive around. This can make it an easier or tougher play for you is the thing, so it balances nicely.

Creature design had progressed significantly, but aside from variations to old favorites, the most significant enemy you battle is your own kind. Humans who have turned to "combine" with the Combine, who have apparently been working in the shadows since Half-Life. Xen, your final highland in Half-Life, turned out to merely be a teleportation transfer point for a much bigger problem. Your role in fighting baddies scrolls from random remotely controlled monsters to your own remotely controlled species. It's not as shocking as it should be, but damn if when walking into City 17, I didn't feel a sense of 1984.

Characters actually come to support the meaning of the word in Half-Life 2. Your "spunky" sidekick Alyx is not only a helpful story vehicle, she's genuinely speaking. She peers, looks, smile, raises her eyebrows, and furrows her brow. Arguments between NPCs, while a little corny, were mind-blowing at the time. With a couple of welcome familiar faces, and some unwelcome but powerful allies, you learn very quickly not to try and horribly mutilate everything you come across.

If Half-Life is the greatest game of all time, Half-Life 2 is the greatest sequel of all time. I look heavily forward to a ground shattering Half-Life 3, if VALVe can get it out before they all decide to retire.

-The0

Old computers are called OLD for a reason

My parents have finally decided to get rid of the computer that has been haunting the kitchen since 2002. This thing is so old that new RAM for it costs more than new RAM for YOUR computer. Remember ENIAC? ENIAC should remember this thing. My older brother was trying to get the processor off of the heat sink (so as to put a new one on there) today and somehow or another, he was lacerated very badly on his finger. 5 stitches. It took injury to convince my parents to buy a new machine. Thank god.

Now, I love and respect my parents very dearly, but their computer has not progressed with them and their needs. I'm happy that my older brother (who taught me most of what I know about computers) will be there to help them in their purchase of a new machine. As a way to help illustrate how long they stuck it out with this computer, and in the ghost of Duke Nukem Forever, here is a small list of things that are younger than this electronic abomination.

• The Invasion of Afghanistan
• The lake behind the Three Gorges Dam
• Martha Stewart's insider trading fiasco
• The Beltway Sniper attacks
• The Euro (technically speaking)
• My social life, thanks to that very computer

It's been fun, it's been real. It's been real fun, Kitchen computer. Happy retirement, you murderous box.

-The0

It turns out Nostalgia is Vista-compatible

In my research for the previous post, I came across the Wikipedia article for Sierra Entertainment. As some of us may remember, the original publisher of Half-Life was Sierra, after VALVe was passed up by everyone else, being told their game was "too ambitious." A good move on Sierra's part, but it is a little sad for them as well. VALVe has utterly outgrown them since their humble beginnings.

I had been a big fan of Sierra even before then, however. The games I played before Quake and Ultima were all Sierra games, the old style ones. I'm referring to their "_____ Quest" games. I used to be able to tell you precisely how to get through Space Quest IV. I knew that no matter what code you entered in the time machine, you would go nowhere at first. As an attempt to get back even further into my childhood and gaming habits, I found an abandoned version of my favorite Quest, King's Quest VI: Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow.

The adventures of Prince Alexander of Daventry came back to me with much difficulty, to my surprise. It may have been that I was still reeling from the nostalgia (goodness, it was wonderful to to explore those screens like I had before), but I don't think so. What is takes to beat an old Sierra Quest game was patience, logic, creativity, and an entirely different way of thinking. The game can be beaten in 5 hours, but the first time I played it, 16 years ago, it took me almost 3 months. I kept trying every combination of events until something new happened. I tried and tried, and with some help for the Sierra Hint line (that's how popular their games were. They had their own hot line with hints for EVERY game), I finally had it beaten, and I was so proud that I knew exactly how to put the pieces together. Now, I need a guide in order to even get off the first island. Oh well.

I guess the main thought behind this veneer of words is that it's easy for me to relive key parts of my childhood. I remember the weather of the first summer that Prince Alexander got shoved in the catacombs. I remember late nights with no progress. It was great for me to get back and feel all this again. Thanks for joining me.

-The0

Better Half-Life than no life at all.

In my opinion, many things can retain their grandeur despite their age. Everyone still loves the Mona Lisa, The Godfather is still revered as the best movie ever, and as far as this list is concerned, the Half-Life series raises the bar on all video games. This is a small dissertation on why.

Let’s start with Half-Life (the first one, released in 1998). Half-Life was based on the GoldSrc engine, a heavily modified version of the Quake engine. The graphics were stunning to me, and it utterly taxed my little 233 MHz laptop. I remember the first time I played it. I was a sophomore in high school, and I had just started the storyline of the game in hopes that I might improve my LAN battle strategy, which at the time was pretty much, "run straight forward with guns blazing at everything which moves." This was the first lesson I garnered from Half-Life. NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE SHOT! No sooner had Barney started speaking than I had finished blowing a hole in his skull. It was some comment about the zombies, of which he had just taken care for my ungrateful ass.

Another game-changing moment was when I had to figure out my first “puzzle.” For once I wasn’t just running through corridors shooting everything which moved. This was my second lesson from Half-Life. It’s not all going to be about getting bigger guns for bigger baddies anymore. This time I had to figure out where I was going to go and what I was going to do in order to NOT die. It was like being in Mario brothers all over again. Only this time I got to use quicksaves and quickloads. At any rate, we go onto the best thing of all. The Storytelling.

Storytelling in Half-life was unlike anything I had ever experienced in my limited catalogue of gaming. I had played a couple of the Ultima games, and even played through all of Quake, but to have the story directly delivered to me in play, and not through some text screen or in a hidden manuscript was world-changing for me. In fact, a lot of the tale was lost to me. In order to actually get any of the yarn, you have to infer a lot from your surroundings and environment. This “resonance cascade” had supposedly just happened 48 hours ago, how could they possibly have built specimen examination rooms for the monsters in such short time? Unless? The point I’m making is, I was still just shooting everything. I was murdering, not thinking. As soon as I learned my third lesson, to stop and look around, everything started making more sense. After all, VALVe had made it a point to build (mostly) realistic worlds, who was I to ignore it?

Characters are a bit lackluster at times, but at other times, they are inescapably enigmatic. The G-Man is the only real character with whom you make any lasting contact. His involvement with everything is curious, but never forgotten. One might think he’s calling the shots in everything, others may say he is simply observing. Barney (the security guard) is met time and again, and even killed multiple times. I think Black Mesa may have been a cloning facility in addition to a hypothetical physics think tank. At any rate, the main character, Dr. Gordon Freeman, never speaks but is always central. I like that. You control him, and you can choose to save others or save your own ass. You can progress through the game as fast as you want, making a mad dash to whichever way “Out” is, or you can really explore the map, and find some extra goodies. Dr. Freeman can be a free-running murderer, or a thinking fighter. It is this ambiguity that allows him to have such a strong following. Master Chief is the gaming world’s Chuck Norris, steering a bomb through space on pure baddass alone, as in Halo 2. Dr. Freeman is just a scientist who apparently reads Guns and Ammo magazine and was the right man in the wrong place. That makes all the diffffference, in the world.

Whereas this has gotten to be a very long post, be it resolved that we’ll go ahead and close up here. I'll carry on this babble into HL2 sometime soon, before the end of the month. Which means you’ll probably be reading it in August, 2010.

Oh, in case you need to be warned, this post has spoilers. Figured I'd at least mention it somewhere.

-The0

Wait, what's going on?

This is the update post to which I keep alluding. It will be concise and possibly endearing, but I need to sleep first. It'll be up soon, I promise, but for now, courage.

* * *

05/11/2009

And We're Back! Finally. An update for you all! As of today, it has been a very weird year. Let's start with the job. I was fired from my old place of employment, when they refused to work around my new schedule. It's just as well, I am working more hours for slightly more money, and I am finally getting down the system this place uses. Now, I probably shouldn't have destroyed a bridge for a temp job, but I really hated that last place. Besides, if I can manage to impress the management at this new job, they'll hire me on full time (not that I'm not working almost 40 - 50 hours a week already.) That would even get me benefits, like health insurance and a 401k. That has been the working goal since college. All in all, the job front is good.

I have a roommate now, one of the previously alluded-to cost cutting techniques. This wasn't my choice however. My parents moved my little brother in with me. It's not so bad though, we're getting used to each other, and my costs have been effectively cut in half. Maybe I can finally start cutting down my debts.

The lovely eHarmony match and I are officially dating. She shall remain anonymous still, because I still think it's a good idea to protect her reputation. we have been out on a number of very fun events, and it's a rare occurrence to meet a girl who can handle her drink like I can mine. We went to the Killers concert on the 2nd, and that was a pretty fun show. We're getting along very well.

In summation, things are looking up. I sincerely apologize for not updating as much as I should. I haven't had much about which to write. Next post: a study of Half-Life, the best series of video games ever!

-The0

I wonder if the CIA has heard about these guys...

Recently, I noticed all the commercials for the SMS directory service KGB (supposedly an acronym for Knowledge Generation Bureau.) The idea is that you send them a text message containing your question or point of curiosity, and they respond with a text message containing the answer to your question. You wind up one fact smarter and 99 cents poorer.

I decided to test out this service and ask them a question to which I already knew the answer. I asked “What is a granfalloon?” I got a confirmation message, saying that they were researching the answer. 2 minutes later, I was given the answer, “A granfalloon, in the fictional religion of Bokononism (created by Kurt Vonnegut in his 1963 novel Cat’s Cradle), is defined as a ‘false karass’” I was impressed.

As a self-proclaimed denizen of the digital age, I should have no qualms with readily accessible information, but something irks me about this service. First, I know I’m not the only one who remembers that Russia’s Committee for Governmental Security (founded in 1954) was called the KGB. What if it’s a front? Am I supposed to let these guys just hear my deepest (or most recent) curiosities? What if they’re creating a psychological profile of populations? Wait…Are they even our enemy any longer? Maybe I should ask them that.

Second, what’s wrong with popping on the internet on your phone and finding your answer yourself? If you’re going to pay a buck for an answer, you might as well get an internet plan and ask all the questions you damn well please. It would seem some sort of cost/time analysis is in order. It did take me about 5 minutes to find the same answer, given the benefit that I knew the avenues I would have to search to find the answer. The big thing about this is that these guy probably just sit around and Google the answer as I would have. A cool product, but I think it’s a bit overpriced for the convenience.

Sorry about the hiatus. I have been very busy. I was planning on posting this long ago (hence the date maybe,) and I had a draft of it, but a LOT of business came up. I shan’t bore you with the details. That’s for tomorrow’s “Update” post (for anyone who is still reading.) Thanks for following, anyone who is still out there!

-The0

Rockstar Personas

A while ago, when I still perused AlbinoBlacksheep, I came across an artist who had a very unique appeal. He called himself Doctor Steel. His music was something of a cross between rock, techno, and hip-hop. He called it hip-prop (short for Hip-Propaganda.) He wore mad scientist goggles, a perfect white lab coat, and he and his army of toy soldiers vowed to take over the world, and bring toys and happiness to all.

That is a lot of work to put into a character simply to propagate your music.  His fans are called toy soldiers. He writes about fun stuff like Planet X, The Fibonacci Sequence, and the Land of the Lost, to name but a few. He has an intellectual neo-goth steampunk flair that he totally plays upon, and I can't find a single link or resource that refers to him as a normal person. It's like there is an actual mad scientist making music out there.

I guess the point of this diatribe is to ask, why can't more artists do that? The closest I can think of right now is Trent Reznor and his ability to weave an alternate reality into an album (case in point: Year Zero.) I would happily attend a show that had a character performance and a musical performance. It would bring a lot more flavor back into the music industry, not to mention kind of re-humanize it in a way.

I'm not going to ramble. I would request that readers post ideas for personas, or actually make me aware of some other groups or people that do this. Examples: Gwar's grotesque costumes, or what if Five for Fighting brought vacuums on stage, so they could literally suck while they sucked?

-The0

Wait, What?

What's another word for synonym?

Irony?

Real post tomorrow, ladies and gentleman! Thanks to Kurt for the "Wait, What?" theme.

-The0